Lifestyle

I Had My 86-Year-Old Grandma Review Lucha VaVOOM

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

The over-the-top-wrestling-orgy of sexy ladies, masked men, and overall debauchery known as Lucha VaVOOM has long been a you've-either-seen-it-or-what-the-F-is-wrong-with-you proposition. And since nothing is wrong with my 86-year-old Grandma Connie (as you know, she's the best), I decided it was time to bring her into the "you've seen it" camp.

So, last week, I took her on her first-ever trip to the Mayan for one of the craziest nights ever. Check it out -- in quotes:

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"You gotta make sure you have proof I was here. Hat forwards or backwards?"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"That one to my right is wearing something so skintight! I'd love to see how she gets into that! I'm sure you'd love to see her get out of it!"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

Lucha Pledge: "I solemnly swear that I will not believe what I see tonight!!!" (Spoiler alert: she didn't.)

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"That hurts! That's an ouch, for sure."

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"I'm in love with the masks! These guys are real acrobats." 

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"I wasn't sure if that was a man or a woman. Not that it matters. Great makeup!"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"Ooh, I gotta get a picture of this girl!"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"How does she do that? I get a nosebleed if I'm up that high."

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"These costumes are marvelous. Just plain MARVELOUS!"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"He was really nice. But he was schvitzing all over!!!"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"Your Grandpa and I used to kiss like this. The problem was, he couldn't stand for five minutes after." 

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"I didn't like the ladies wrestling the man. There should have been more ladies. And they should have either been very ladylike, or huge and muscular."

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"Many years ago our friend Jay was visiting. He was prim and proper and your Grandpa and I took him to a burlesque show, I don't remember where. He was so embarrassed. He turned bright red. I liked it, though!"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"I think I gotta get a mask before I leave. Should I get this one?"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"This one??"

Jeff Miller/Thrillist

"Oh, I'm definitely getting this one."

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Jeff Miller's Grandma is so much cooler than yours. You can argue about it with him at @jeffmillerla on Instagram and @ThrillistLA on Twitter.