5. Universal Studios
We're getting into the not-really-sucky-but-just-kind-of-a-bother zone here, 'cause Universal -- with its Back to the Future courtyards and Transformers rides and silly Jaws effects -- can be super fun if it's not slammed, which is the key. When the park's crazy-crowded, lines can be interminable.
How to make it suck less: This probably isn't breaking news, but get to the park early and do the tram first. It's all the way in the back, so most tourists will dilly-dally before making it over there, but it takes the most time both line-wise and ride-wise.
When it's time for lunch, don't eat in the park -- once you're in, they'll let you in-and-out, which is all the more reason to take the tram down to Lankershim and walk to, uh, In-N-Out. And speaking of that tram, it basically starts at the Metro station there... which we're not saying you should park at illegally, but uh, yeah.