Lifestyle

You star in a LIVE HORROR MOVIE

Great Horror Campout, LA

From the horror-maze masters who bring you the yearly Haunted Hayride, the Great Horror Campout's kinda the most terrifying thing ever that doesn't involve an oral surgeon: an overnight, 12hr camping trip in the spooky Los Angeles State Historic Park (happening both June 7th and 8th), where attendees'll have to participate in a "Hell Hunt" populated with chainsaw-wielding masked men and other horror-movie staples, all of whom literally have the right (that you've signed away) to hood you, capture you, and torture you. FOR FUN!!!!...? You've got questions: we've got answers

What the WHAT?

Yeah. Live horror movie. You're the victim.

I generally think of myself as a victim, so this makes sense. But how's it gonna work?

Still kind of unclear-on-purpose, but the main deal is what they're calling that "Hell Hunt", an all-night scavenger hunt where there'll be a voodoo blood ritual, some sort of road-kill dig, and other sorts of gory disgusting-ness, all populated by wood-monsters and other terror-freak-out creatures, all of which'll be in separately populated "scare zones", with the whole thing based around a story about a train crash from the 1800s that left biological experiments out in these woods.

A scavenger hunt? For what?

Extra "SCAG" -- Sh*t Campers All Get. It'll be some sort of barter-friendly regalia, since you can use it not just to try to win the hunt (the prize? VIP tix to next year's Haunted Hayride), but to negotiate release if you get "captured, caged, or kidnapped". Yeah. Seriously. Also, they claim the right to change the rules at any time... so, basically, you're gonna need to see a doctor about those blood pressure spikes the next day

So after I've hypothetically urinated on myself for the third time, is there anywhere I can go where I can't be captured, caged, or kidnapped?

They're gonna have an all-night bonfire in a "safe zone", where they'll also be showing classic horror movies. Also, sack up, man. Seriously

And I gotta do this alone?

They're putting people in tents of four, but they're matching loners up with not-full tents -- so, um, it's either you and three friends, or you, two friends, and THE CREEPIEST PERSON YOU'VE EVER HAD TO SLEEP NEXT TO EVER

We're drinking through this whole thing, right?

Drinks are not included. But not, um, not dis-encouraged, either.