The 8 Dodgers fans you're definitely going to see today
Now that the Dodgers are playing the last local game of their NLCS bid, Blue Fever's reached universal, potentially annoying levels unseen since Orel Hershiser's glory days. Today's the last Chavez Ravine game of the series, so it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Here are 8 fans you're 100% going to see in the interim
1. The Superfan: This guy's been at every home game this season ("In the stands, with the PEOPLE", he'll tell you. "Not anywhere near those rich chumps by the field".) He inexplicably has Nick Punto's autograph conspicuously tattooed on his arm, but gets REAL pissed when you ask whose autograph it is
2. The Hanley Ramirez Rib Aficionado: Yes, we know he's playing with a broken rib. Please don't ask everyone in the bar if they know that. Again. Perhaps ordering some ribs will keep you temporarily occupied
3. The Insta-Bandwagon Jumper: He took the week off work to make sure to go to all the games and hasn't posted about anything else on Facebook in recent memory... yet never once mentioned the Dodgers, or baseball in general, in any conversation before then.
4. The Dude Catching The Game At The Short Stop Before Heading To The Echoplex Later Tonight For The 9p Band: Mustache, fedora, tight jeans, and a Puig jersey over a carefully pressed vest? Yep
5. Mary Hart: Man, she picked the perfect season tickets so you CAN'T POSSIBLY MISS HER ON TV. The Entertainment Tonight theme still haunts our dreams
6. Advanced-Stats Guy: You casually mention something about Zach Greinke, and before you know it you're ears-deep in a detailed discussion of xFIP and ground ball rates. Pro tip: don't mention pitching wins unless you want this conversation to surpass 30 minutes
7. Ridiculously Cute, Sports-Savvy Lady-Fan Who Finds You Both Charming And Hilarious: All right, fine. Maybe there are only seven fans you're 100% going to see
8. Doyers Guy. We heard you the first 30 times. Please, please stop. Unless they've won. Then go nuts!