Lifestyle

Fustercluck: Literally the craziest thing you'll do all month

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Because you truly thought you may have heard it all before and these folks want to prove you wrong, some crazy people are putting on an event on October 5th called Fustercluck, which is a hybrid 5k race, redneck game celebration, and concert from the GREATEST ONE-HIT WONDER OF ALL TIME NOT NAMED VANILLA ICE. You wanna hear more? Here you go

The Race Itself: You and yours'll dress up in your hillbilliest garb (ripped flannel/fake teeth/just existing as Larry the Cable Guy) and choose to either race an obstacle course or be a "hunter", which's essentially a dude who'll chase down the racers and kidnap them, Deliverance-style. So yeah, you're probably gonna want to do that

The After-Race Redneck Olympics Events: Basically, you're doing this whole thing for the after-party (which's also available to attend separately from racing), where everyone who runs gets a free beer and then plays pseudo-mocking flyover-state activities like a mud belly-flop contest, a hub cap-throwing contest, and a Slip 'n Slide, because Crocodile Mile would just have been going TOO FAR.

The One-Hit Wonder: Somehow, the organizers ACTUALLY CONVINCED Rednex to play this thing -- yes, Rednex. The band whose song "Cotton-Eyed Joe" is now stuck in your head, again, forever. Forever. Seriously, is this kind of not the best thing ever

Update: They'll be doing it all over America in 2014, including right back here in Cali.