Famous people are so much richer than you

Unlike "Not Cool Celebrities", which just documents what Ian Ziering is up to, Not Cool, Celebrities is a meme-ish Tumblr (started by a guy who used to string for US Weekly and a former writer for The Office) making fun of the inordinate wealth of the supremely famous/rich, but not the supremely famous Richie Rich...er, actually, there is one up there about Macaulay Culkin. Some choice nuggets:

I bought a house in New Orleans but, like, ironically. Not cool, Brad Pitt.

I can stop car accidents with my mind, but don't. Not cool, Tom Cruise.

I follow Standard & Poor's. Because I can. Not cool, Daniel Radcliffe.

I stand on midget slaves just to seem taller. Not cool, Mario Lopez.

My middle name was Steve before I got rich. Not cool, Lou Diamond Phillips.

I adopt children and call them "rescues". Not cool, Madonna.

And, if you're one of those weird people who actually likes doing things, feel free to send them your own best attempts next time you find yourself Home Alone...or Lost in Manhattan...or...in that third one, where a pet parrot blows up a robber hiding in a snow fort.