Because all your other childhood wishes have gone down the drain except one, make that one a reality this weekend by LITERALLY CALLING UP OPTIMUS PRIME AND GETTING A RIDE.
Yep, that's what's up. Uber's partnered with the Transformers people to have Optimus Prime roll out to you this Saturday, from 1-7pm. In the app, choose the "Autobots" option (which will awesomely be on the slider waiting for you) and tap "Roll Out" (seriously!). If you get lucky, a massive truck Transformer will roll up to your place and pick you up. From there, you can cruise for 15 minutes, blasting Optimus sound bites to whatever neighborhood you're going through, hopefully avoiding Decepticons/Shia LaBeouf along the way. Hopefully. Get more info here!