11. Thieving neighbors who will steal your shovel
Seriously, who would do this, other than people who've gone crazy because it's so cold? Oh. Right.
Okay, you probably know about this one from the idiots who burn themselves doing it every year, but still, know what happens when you throw hot water in the air at home? It comes down. And falls. Like it should.
13. Having your water pipes freeze
Yeah, we have no idea what you do either.
Jeff Miller is so glad to be back from his short trip to NYC right now. He's on Instagram at @jeffmillerla and Twitter at @ThrillistLA.