About half of your friends are never gonna go out with you in the first place
"Westsiders don’t go East, Eastsiders never go West. Period. Sorry. Not gonna happen."
It's not what you know, it’s who you know
"Going out for realzies in LA requires having a friend who owes you a favor, and that friend is friends with the Bungalow bartender, and that bartender hooks the door guy up with drinks for this chick he’s into. (Thanks Paul.) We shot at La Descarga during Season 2 of Best Bars, so I may have at least one of the Houston Brothers' numbers on speed dial. And if I want to make sure I am treated well at Dan Tana's, I roll with my arms dealer buddy and saddle up at the bar with Michael. I may have to drink four or five shots of Slivovitz, but it’s worth it just to hear him say, 'I hate myself' after every shot..."
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Jay Larson is the host of Best Bars in America and a stand-up comic who has appeared on Conan, Carson Daly, and The Late Late Show. You can hit him up at @JayLarsonComedy on Twitter.
Jeff Miller is the Editor of Thrillist LA and loves going out in LA, too. He's at @jeffmillerla on Instagram and @ThrillistLA on Twitter.