Lifestyle

The 21 Worst Decisions You Can Make in LA

Published On 07/03/2015 Published On 07/03/2015

Usually, you make good decisions: you ask for that Double-Double "Animal Style," you use the Canyons instead of the 405, and you get in on that $40 all-you-can-drink thing at LAX. But sometimes, definitely sometimes, you make bad ones. Like these:
 

1. Getting Time Warner

Even if there's no other cable provider in your area and you don't have a roof for a satellite dish, this is probably the worst decision you can make in life.
 

2. Taking the wrong San Vicente

Unless you want to go to Brentwood instead of WeHo. Which you... might?
 

3. Accidentally exiting north instead of south at La Cienega off the 10

You have this huge, weird, circular exit ramp thing that seems like a death trap and then... oops, you're going the wrong way with no way to make a U-turn, even illegally. And now you're pulling through that Del Taco before you're back on track.

Flickr/Mi..chael

4. Using the public bathrooms at the Santa Monica Pier

Hobos + grime + beach = so gross.
 

5. Trying to find parking in that Trader Joe's lot

Doesn't even matter which one -- just all of them.
 

6. Choosing anything farther than a five-mile radius when you're online dating

20 miles sounds doable, but then you'll realize that someone in Pasadena right-swiped you, and all of a sudden you're in a long-distance relationship.

Flickr/Vicky Sedgwick

7. Thinking that you'll be "just fine" trying to surf for the first time -- in Venice

Your pride or your ankles will be shattered. Probably both.
 

8. Paying for Westside Rentals

Dude, even we have a password you can use.
 

9. Parking in the wrong "loading zone" after 6pm

Yellow only. YELLOW ONLY.

Madatoms/Sarah Soquel

10. Deciding to get donuts at Donut Time on Highland

Unless you like being propositioned by transvestite prostitutes, in which case, this is actually a totally good decision!
 

11. Continuing east when you hit Los Angeles St while walking down 6th

No.
 

12. Chancing getting through Beverly Hills when your "needs gas" light is on

You'll pay $5.50 a gallon and feel so ridiculous. SO RIDICULOUS.

Flickr/Todd Lappin

13. Offering someone a ride/pickup from LAX -- ever

Even when it's not rush hour, it's rush hour. Rideshares exist for a reason. And this is that reason.
 

14. Living in an apartment by the beach if your commute takes you east of La Brea

... or maybe even Lincoln. Probably Lincoln. Sure, you loved the ocean when you moved here. You know how love sometimes turns into resentment? That.
 

15. Shopping at Jons instead of Vons

Or vice versa. It's so confusing.
 

16. Taking Highland instead of Orange to get to Hollywood

You moved here yesterday, right?

Flickr/Edward Conde

17. Leaving a Dodgers game after it's actually over

Yeah, you're an awesome fan. An awesome fan who will be home in... two hours.
 

18. Trying to "share a car" with your girlfriend/roommate

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
 

19. Touching your steering wheel in the summer

Or your seatbelt buckle. Or just your seat in general.

Flickr/chris.alcoran

20. Going to Disneyland on a holiday weekend

Or, um, a normal weekend. Basically any day that's not a Tuesday.
 

21. Thinking that bacon-wrapped hot dog is going to taste as good as it smells

It never does, dude.

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Jeff Miller has made about half of these mistakes before, but has never actually entered Donut Time, because, uh, he's terrified. Hit him at @jeffmillerla on Instagram and @ThrillistLA on Twitter.

This article was originally published on October 22, 2014.

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