4. Get WAY too into a basketball game, whatever side you’re on
Are the Cats scoring every time your Mom comes into the room? Sorry Mom, stay out. Do the Cards always win when you wear your rattiest hoodie? Sorry guys, but we need this win.
5. Skip the Derby because you “just don’t have time this year!”
Some years, you’re just not feeling it. Too many tourists at your favorite bars! Why did every drink in town suddenly get too expensive? Screw it, just watch it on TV. There’s always Thurby!
6. Get prescription allergy medicine
This town's pollen was probably designed in a lab by some kind of sneeze fetishist.
7. Wait for over an hour at Hammerheads
Those truffle fries, though.