19. Why yes, I DO sell Avon
We will never tell you, but we will keep a catalog for you in our guest bathroom. It’s only “good manners.”
20. You NEVER leave the house to get your hair cut, nails done, or teeth cleaned
Because all those people make house calls. And work for cash. And their contact info is guarded with more secrecy than the codes to the nuclear football.
21. Guys have one haircut, and it is the classic fade
Show up with a man bun and see how fast you’re kicked out of your house, que Dios te ampare.
22. Miami Lakes needs to get over itself
You act like a bridge actually separates Miami Lakes from our city… pero like, no. You just have nicer shopping plazas, pay more taxes, and have cows in place of ducks.
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