7. Nobody EVER goes out on Ocean Drive
And if we do, it's only to prove to visitors that those 3-for-1 drinks are really $28. Each!
8. Our cabs don’t take credit cards
And the ones that do are using it to steal your identity.
9. Service is going to be terrible. Everywhere.
When your waiter does you the favor of visiting your table, order everything NOW. You won’t be seeing him again 'til Christmas.
10. And they’re going to charge you 18% for it
That $14 the bartender just charged you for a bottle of Corona? At least it includes tip.
11. You can’t get tacos at a Cuban restaurant
Nor is everyone who speaks Spanish Mexican. Actually, they're probably not, since our Mexican population is under 2%.