8. Cuban coffee
This is the reason Miami’s never had much of a problem with crystal meth.
9. Making fun of Hialeah
They just make it so easy with their nonsensical street grid, a mayor who gets in fights on the freeway, and a store called “Nnnnnno, Que Barato”. That, and the fact that otherwise, the butt of all our jokes would be Kendall, which doesn’t sound nearly as funny.
10. Plastic surgery
We are, by all accounts, the birthplace of the ass implant. You’re welcome.
We might say we hate it, but there's nothing like that first blast of hot, wet air when the doors slide open at MIA to say, “Welcome home!”.
12. Those weather maps that show the whole country in a polar vortex. Except us.
Last winter, you saw this in your newsfeed roughly 437 times a day.