What to expect: All the extraordinary “you can’t afford this” opulance of a South Beach “UltraLounge.” The cover will be at least $30 if you show a local ID, considerably more if you don’t, and the girls don’t come cheap either. Lap dances are only in private rooms, and even though they may have the hottest strippers in Miami, they’re only topless until you get back there. The food, however, costs less and is almost as tasty.
What it’s known for: Getting raided. Apparently somebody missed their November bribe payment and somehow it became the ONE strip club in Miami to get busted for drugs and prostitution. Also, for girls not asking you to tip them for their dance.
Best deal: Mondays from 6-10pm when drinks are 2-for-1 and dinner is free!
What to expect: Really all you need to know is that T.I. had his getting-out-of-jail party here. And in case you missed the references to KOD in pretty much every rap song about strippers made since 2005, this is THE premiere hip-hop club in the country. Even if strippers aren’t your thing (how’d you make it this far in the article?) they’ve got a barber shop, full basketball court, and ladies’ fight night on Monday.
What they’re known for: Making it rain like nowhere else. This is what happens when your best customers are rap stars and pro athletes. The pole tricks the dancers come up with, though, are definitely worthy of the Washington Showers.
Best deal: $50 bottles of Johnnie Walker Black on Tuesdays.