The 9 Best Strip Clubs in Miami

Published On 01/13/2015 Published On 01/13/2015
Wonderland Miami
Cheetah Hallandale
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1. Scarlett's Cabaret 2920 SW 30th Ct, Miami, FL 33133

This bottle-service-style strippery in Hollandale is massive (a half-dozen stipper poles; lounge, vip, and bar areas; and a tiered VIP area), boast some pretty massive deals (free happy hour eats from 12-6p, constant drink specials, etc.), and has some... um, massively talented employees, who'll at least make you feel like YOU are.

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2. Tootsie's Cabaret 150 NW 183rd St., Miami Gardens, FL 33169

Tootsies is a North Dade superclub with over 300 dancers, non-stop sports on plasma Televisions, delicious bar cuisine, sky boxes and champagne rooms. It's the closest thing you'll get in Miami to a Vegas strip club, with the added bonus of a full liquor bar and full nude, full friction dancing.

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3. E11EVEN Miami 29 NE 11th St, Miami, FL 33132

Burlesque performances? Check. Big-name DJs? Yeah. LED screens, a stage with a (cough, cough) pole, plus straight-off-the-carving board eats like pulled pork sliders 24 HOURSA DAY?! Miami's hottest dayclub, E11EVEN, is delivering all of the above, plus bottle service, and scantily clad dancers who are wayyy more likely to hang out if you buy said bottle service and post up in one the leather booths lining the dance floor/balcony.

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4. Wonderland 7778 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL 33138

Mixing 1950s burlesque with South Beach bottle service, VIP touches, Wonderland is a clash of old and new that makes for the most relaxing, luxurious strip club environment in Miami. Yes, it's only topless (unless you opt for a private room with one of the dancers, where those sorts of things are, as always, negotiable) but the dancers aren't allowed to hassle you for tips and the food is as good as any restaurant not called Blue Collar.

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5. King Of Diamonds 17800 State Road 9, Miami, FL 33162

Boasting a roster of up to 100 girls, a dozen super skyboxes(?!), 30+ private vip suites, a shoe shine station, a clothing boutique, a barber shop, tanning beds, full body massages, an auto detailing service, wifi/computers in the bathrooms... oh, and a full food and drink menu, this cavernous spot is the king of strip clubs, at least if you listen to literally all the rappers and are a fan of all the athletes who show up on the regular. Tickets must be purchased from the website.

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6. Playmates Club 3875 Shipping Ave, Miami, FL 33133

Sure this low-ceiling'd, very neon-heavy, spot'll ply you with drinks from it's full bar, or snacks from it's limited menu, but the focus here is on the girls, who you can watch from a table overlooking their small, glass-tiered main stage, or see up close in their recently(-ish) redone, and very private, champagne room.

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7. Club Lexx 12001 Nw 27th Ave, Miami, FL 33167

Club Lexx is a strip club that also serves some great food, like the BBQ rib sandwich. Because that's what everyone is looking for in a strip club, right?

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8. Cheetah Hallandale Beach 100 Ansin Blvd, Hallandale, FL 33009

This is kinda like the JV team for Scarlett’s. It’s a big, clean, flashy club, but the dancers will tend to be those who are either not hot enough or too old for the place down the block.

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9. Club Madonna 1527 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139

This oft sued-by-the-actual-Madonna spot, is Miami Beach's only gentleman's club, is BYOB, and is a constant thorn in the side of city government, but that's OK 'cause... well, naked women! Naked women who dance in very purple, pop-art splashed space, where given the lack of drink/food/other entertainment options, you've really got no choice but to watch.