The runt of the litter compared to its Collins Ave neighbors, it’s hard to believe anything would fit on top of this Art Deco haunt; let alone 12,000sqft of chaise lounges, lantern-lit tables, Miami’s finest, and a deck big enough to throw a Nikki Beach-esque party. But it is!
Like it's name suggests, you're not going here for the crowds. So instead of getting your unce unce unce on to some random DJ, find your inner peace on this den’s grass-covered deck, or at the white and orange lounges next to a raised marble pool. There might not be ocean views, but there are Don Q mojitos, 12 different kinds of ceviche, and enough flowers to make you think you got lost tanning in some guy’s opium dream, so we’re pretty okay with it.
Part of the "Holy Trinity" on Collins Ave -- creating a triangle with The Setai Miami Beach and W Hotel South Beach -- this adult playground is equal parts grass-covered sun deck, Wynwood Walls, and A-list-only cabanas. After a brunch of Huevos Rancheros, Chocolate French Toast, and $20 bottomless cocktails at Orange Blossom below, crawl upstairs to sleep it off under the sun, drink more cocktails, and watch as subsequent visitors get repeatedly confused by the graffiti wall mural of an equally confused Asian woman.
As plain as it is historic, there’s not much to say for this hangout’s slightly simple, all-white decor -- but it’s smack dab in the heart of South Beach, serves absinthe “Rattlesnake” cocktails, has direct ocean views, and sits above two bars that know how to have a good time. Add that to the fact that it’s only a block away from Lincoln Rd and it’s like... only number six on our list?!?!
Why go to the beach when 30 minutes in the warm, jet-fueled waters of this spa-style pool mimics an actual massage, relaxes each of your muscles individually, and sits in the middle of 360-degree Atlantic Ocean views. Considering you can only take a dip if you’ve booked a treatment at the spa, this Bali-inspired retreat isn’t where you’ll find the parties -- but you can go downstairs to Traymore Restaurant and Bar for the daily Peruvian ceviche, Maine lobster frittata, Conch Fritter “Caesar”, and red chili-infused tequila “Miami Heat” cocktails, which your mouth will think is kind of the same thing.
If your two favorite reality TV stars had a lovechild, and that lovechild lived in Miami, he or she would definitely party at HIGHBAR -- and probably hit on the bouncer. With its sleek white pool beds, larger-than-life gold chains, diamond wall cutouts and “party all night” mantra, this '70s-inspired outdoor lounge keeps sexy Miamians scarfing down Naked Taco’s pork carnitas burritos all day and night.
Far enough from Collins Ave tourists still wearing LeBron jerseys, but close enough for you to laugh at them, the boutique Vintro Hotel and Kitchen is the 305’s best-kept secret. Covered in green grass, with bright orange tables, a ping-pong table, psychedelic pop art and neon hammocks, you’d probably think this Art Deco hangout is what happens when Alice in Wonderland parties at ULTRA. Lounge around for a day, and within minutes, you’ll discover its charm: classic South Beach vibes, minus the underage spring breakers, Four Lokos, and Pitbull.
Sitting right on Ocean Dr, this is where all the beautiful people go to tan, show off their Dior sunglasses, drink Grey Goose “I Will Be There” martinis and do anything but rage with the Jersey Shore lookalikes on Ocean and 7th. Balancing its quiet party scene with to-die-for views, citrus-infused water, and hot pool attendants bringing you chilled fruit, this joint is like SOHO Beach House’s younger, shyer sister -- she might not run for this year’s Homecoming Queen, but she’s definitely the girl you want to bring to the dance.
One private plunge pool, a handful of A-list Miamians, and countless $28 glasses of Los Nahuales Anejo Mezcal, and some (surprisingly good)“Dirty Burgers” can only mean one thing -- a fiesta. Add that to the fact that you’re surrounded by Cancun-inspired decor, mingling with people straight off the Miami Fashion Swim Week runway, and are tucked away at the top of a members-only haunt where it’s illegal to Instagram the celebrities tanning next to you, and your oceanfront pool day is one for the South Beach books.
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