10. Too-small-towel guy
Sitting on a bright green gym towel isn’t gonna make you look 6’2”. It IS, however, gonna make you look like a short guy on a ridiculously small towel.
11. The naked, screaming little kid
Is there a minimum age for which someone can be called a completely inconsiderate jerk? Please say it’s five.
12. The New York nightlife queen
If you drop the name of one more reality “star," mention another club that you drink at for free, or say, “He’s gonna get me a job there as a bottle girl,” your friend back in Great Neck is going to find herself talking to sea kelp.