If Vanilla Ice taught us anything, it’s that people who move to Miami love to call themselves Miamians as soon as they find a couch to crash on. But if LeBron James taught us anything, it’s that most of those people end up leaving before they can really call the 305 home. So what do you have to do before you can change your “Hometown” on Facebook to Miami, FL and make all your friends jealous? These 21 things...
1. Survive a hurricane
You know somebody’s new in town when their first reaction to an impending Category 3 is “Awesome! Hurricane party!”.
2. Hold an entire conversation in Spanglish
If you’re not fluent in Miami’s official language, a conversation in broken Spanish with a Walgreens clerk that consists of a lot of finger pointing and “Dónde está los Swiffer Wet Jets” will suffice.
3. Get proposed to for paperwork
Finding a life partner in Miami is hard. Finding a two-year partner that’ll pay you 30 grand to take some pictures and go to a few meetings at the INS? Easier than breathing.