Milwaukee Is No. 1 at These 10 Things. Suck It, Every Other City.

We know Milwaukee is the greatest city on the greatest lake. We’ve been shouting it from the rooftops of our breweries for years, and finally everyone else is figuring that out too. We’ve been rated the best city for everything from bacon to art. Sure, we have our problems, but Milwaukee tops in these 10 categories. Spoiler alert: a lot have to do with alcohol.

1. Best bar city

We all know we’re the best bar city every year, (not just in 2012, Esquire. But thanks for noticing.)

2. Best city you wouldn't expect for tech 

No, I definitely didn’t expect that one, but cool. Move over, Silicon Valley, the next Pied Piper is coming out of MKE.

3. Best art neighborhood

The Third Ward was named a top community for combining artsy-fartsy stuff with independent businesses, restaurants, and walkability. And good thing it’s so walkable, since we hop from Milwaukee Ale House, to Wicked Hop, to Bugsy’s, to Benelux...

4. Best beer city

Duh. Beer made this city famous. Which brings us to...

5. Best city for drunks

Drink Wisconsinbly.

6. Best destination for gay travelers

PrideFest, one of the largest gay pride festivals in the country, glams up the Summerfest grounds every summer with glorious rainbow feather boas and tie-dyed muscle shirts. Everyone could use more rainbows in their life.

7. Naughtiest city

This sounds sexy, but it's actually terrible. MKE claims the “naughtiest housing market,” based on things like crime rates, unemployment, and presence of registered sex offenders. Ouch.

8. Most segregated city

It’s a sad truth we’re all aware of. We need to do better, Milwaukee.

9. Best city for bacon

Back on track. You can get anything here with bacon: bacon with chocolate, Bloody Marys with bacon, beer with bacon, cheese with bacon bits in it, and bacon-wrapped, deep-fried cheese curds (drool). There’s even an annual Baconfest, the one place where hipsters and Harley riders come together in harmony.

10. Best city for singles

Milwaukee’s population is 51.3 percent single. That doesn’t seem very high, but it’s higher than most of the rest of the country. Hey, maybe we like being single. You be you, Milwaukee.

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Lacey Muszynski is a Milwaukee native who is not at all surprised so many of these lists have to do with drinking. Follow her @worthhersalt.