Lynden's Soda Fountain, 490 Hamline Ave S; St. Paul; 651.235.5646
Old folks are fond of doing things that remind them of when they were kids, so help Grandpa turn back the clock by
showing him how to wind his old Swatch safely hitting St. Paul's throwback soda jerk-ery Lynden's. Their soda fountain's as old as the old man, the ice cream's made with real cream, and the menu's oozing with traditional goodness like egg creams, banana splits, and tin roof sundaes.
Ingebretsen's, 1601 E Lake St; Longfellow; 612.729.9333
You live in Minny, so it's not really that big a leap of faith to assume that at least one of your stately elder kinfolk has some Scandinavian heritage and would LOVE to hit up Lake St's "Nordic marketplace" that opened in 1921. Be it Scand-y swag like those neat Setesdal cardigans and trinkets galore, or take-away foodstuffs ranging from lefse to Swedish meatballs to Kransekake bars to, gasp, lutefisk, Ingebretsen's has got you.
THE GUEST: YOUR FRAT BUDDY WHO CAN'T DRINK ANYMORE FOR VARIOUS REASONS
Since his last visit was technically the reason he is no longer allowed to drink, you better make it up to him by doing this radical booze-less stuff instead:
Canterbury Park, 1100 Canterbury Rd; Downtown; 952.445.7223
Just because this dude gave up booze doesn't mean he gave up all vices, which's why you need to get him to Canterbury, where you not only can partake in some on- and off-track betting on the ponies, but you and he can pull an all-night binge… at their 34 tables of Texas Hold'Em, Omaha Hi-Lo, and Seven-Card Stud in the poker room.