Because centralized dance parties are so 2011

Published On 01/05/2012 Published On 01/05/2012
    Wondering what, exactly, a "decentralized dance party" is? Then you're probably an over-thinking dweeb, and should blow off some steam at a decentralized dance party, the brainchild of two Canadian revelers who've already terrorized their nation's streets with public jams where they hand hundreds of thematically costumed ("business casual") merrymakers boomboxes tuned to the same frequency to blast their DJ's selections. As you've outed yourself as a brainiac econ major and thus understand the concept of TANSTAAFL already, it'll come as no surprise that they need money (specifically, $1K by Feb 18th) to make this happen, but don't worry, they're prepared to Kickstart-reward your contributions:

    • $5 nabs you a "genuine, limited-edition high-five from both Tom and Gary"
    • $15 buys you a moment of infamy with a mic'd song dedication at the party, which you'll probably want to send out to Tom and Gary after sharing that soft, passionate high-five
    • $40 lets you choose a rad Powerglove logo tee, or a neon boombox shirt with "strictly business"
    • $60 is a paltry fee to pay for a fanny pack/ stereo from "Jammypack", which's also what you might wanna do in case any ladies are so impressed with your fanny pack that a sleepover is in order. Hey now!
    • $70 buys you the right to be goddamn loud, in the form of a five-watt mini megaphone with "DDP" stickers on both sides
    • $100 means a full-on banana costume complete with DDP stickers for the chest, though dancing in that thing might get a little slippery

    And should you have $10K to donate to this noble crusade, Tom, Gary, and the "Elite Banana Task Force" will deliver you your own personalized DDP "anywhere in Canada", though if you live there, you might actually need someone to explain that whole "there ain't no such thing as a free lunch" thing to you after all.