And lo, de Maisonneuve climbed the royal mountain and erected a sweet 30-meter-tall, illuminated iron cross and returned with two tablets. The hippies, LARPers, and hipsters clamored around him with their Pabst Blue beers, guitar, and Frisbees, whereupon he gave them several badass street names and these 20 Montreal Commandments:
1. Pick a side between St. Viateur and Fairmount bagels But eat both of them anyways.
2. Bear witness to the city's tremendous nightlife And party whenever possible.
3. Go forth and BIXI Or lose your public bike sharing system privileges to bankruptcy forevermore.
This Chinese Festival Is Like 'Frozen' Come to Life Katherine Sehl
4. Support the local brewing scene It’s called Dieu du Ciel (God of the Sky) for a reason.
5. Eateth the poutine in regular drunken stupors Yet maintain impossibly good physique. Katherine Sehl
6. Know thine seasons Winter, construction.
7. Saveth thy Winter jacket for when Winter really is here Brave the early onset of cold weather to toughen up for the real deal. The suffering makes you stronger. Katherine Sehl
8. Honour the day of the Sabbath... err, Tam-Tams on Mont Royal Keep it holy.
9. Engageth in ALL the festivals Even the weird ones. In fact, especially the weird ones.
10. Sit upon thine terrasses as soon as the weather is mildly permissible Cherish every moment of not-Winter weather. Cherish it. Katherine Sehl Thou Shalt Not...
11. Refer to smoked meat as “pastrami” Viande fumée is passable, but pastrami is New York’s inferior product.
12. Have any other hockey team before the Habs Donning a Boston jersey is like a form of religious intolerance around here.
13. Forget to buy alcohol before 11pm Or pending, sober, doom shall ensue. Katherine Sehl
14. Call corner stores by any other terms than “ deps” Hasty market, corner store, convenience store = blasphemy.
15. Arrive for a party earlier than 11pm No one is ready for that.
16. Debate francophone language policies Just laissez-faire all of that stuff for the language police. Flickr user brett Vachon
17. Ever expect streets to be ridden of potholes Smooth road infrastructure? Check Hell for ice.
18. Stand on the left side of the escalator Unless thou art a jerk. Flickr user Michael Gil
19. Covet thy neighboring city’s (i.e. Toronto) better employment opportunities Don’t let the Devil tempt you out of Eden.
20. Move to Toronto, in fact It’s kind of like giving up on the dream.