Lifestyle

The 21 worst decisions you can make in Nashville

Just like that time you decided to wear skinny jeans to Thanksgiving, or decided to give nude karaoke a try, or basically every time you ate Taco Bell at 4am, bad decisions happen to us all. Here’s to hoping that we can at least save you from making these bad decisions in Nashville... 
 

1. Dating someone who lives Downtown

How long can you stand parking five blocks away to see their place? Or request meeting at the Demonbreun parking lot? Oh wait, that’s also a high rise now... 
 

2. Going to a home game of Predators vs. Blackhawks

They will come for blood, and your mother-in-law. 
 

3. Trusting the deadbeat Dad you never had, otherwise known as Comcast

He will just be late, cost you money, and drink all of your bottled water.

4. Ending up in Printer's Alley at last call

How did you get here?! And other bad bar decisions... 
 

5. Telling tourists we have a super-hot mayor

You're thinking of the guy who plays him on TV again... 
 

6. Not ordering everything off the Athens Restaurant menu at 2am

It will be the best decision you made all night. 
 

7. Writing an inspirational song about your time on Lower Broad

Aldean, Keith... all renditions of what should be titled "Death, Lube, and Cool Water". 
 

8. Showing up to work without your leather apron

Arg!! How in the hell are you gonna craft that almond milk latte now? At least they were conscientious enough to use recycled animal skin. 
 

9. Driving anywhere near a church at noon on Sunday

Unless you are actually attending that church instead looking for two-for-one deals. In that case, good for you. 
 

10. Accepting a LinkedIn request from "Songwriter at Self"

 

11. Opening a tab at Tootsie's

There’s a reason some of those girls retire there. 
 

12. Getting the late-night half-pound dog on Lower Broad

Have some self respect and go to Taco Bell like everyone else... 
 

13. Pulling out your cell to GPS/give directions to the out-of-town Lyft/Uber driver

It’s a matter of principle; you’re paying them to get you there.

14. Taking any roundabout

The Tennessee driver's test doesn't require applicants to parallel park, let alone navigate a silly circle without causing a traffic jam. Take heed and choose an alternate route. 
 

15. Catfish someone as a famous musician

Or do. Anyone who believes they’re dating Alison Krauss online completely deserves it. 
 

16. Letting your relatives talk you into going to Opryland at Christmas time

Or literally any time. 
 

17. Get on Santa’s (Pub) naughty list

Do not tackle him, sing bad country, or ask for anything other than a Miller High Life.

18. Riding the mechanical bull at any honky tonk

Just imagine yourself as a split-screen #nailedit photo going viral tomorrow. 
 

19. Accidentally getting on 440 at 4pm

Or 3pm or 5pm or 7am or 8am and so it goes. 
 

20. Going to Nashville Shores

Unless you have on five bathing suits and plug all orifices at once. 
 

21. Going as the guy who had sex with an ATM and picnic table in one night for Halloween and expecting to take someone home

#nailedit.

Sign up here for our daily Nashville email and be the first to get all the food/drink/fun the Music City has to offer.