Now, why would a childhood transgression involving ill-gotten candy rank among Ted's most painful memories or greatest shames? He didn't even like Deacon. Now, for no reason we know of, he feels guilty about depriving his suddenly absentee sibling of a few Cadbury eggs? The fact that his immediate family members won't even say his name unless supernatural forces subject them to an introspective nightmare strongly implies that something bad happened to Deacon. And the entire Logan clan, especially Ted, was traumatized as a result.
Perhaps Ted stepped on a butterfly during one of his romps through history, and caused a ripple effect that altered future events and prevented Deacon from being born? That would explain Ted's feeling of responsibility, and account for why no one ever questions his brother's whereabouts. Deacon never existed.
That, or Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey isn't the most well thought-out movie ever made. It's still fun to watch, though!
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Barry Thompson writes pop culture and music things. His work has appeared in The Boston Phoenix, Esquire.com, Paste Magazine, and several other online and print publications. He lives under a bridge in Allston, MA, with a cat. Follow him: @barelytomson.