Manhandle a Burmese python
The environmental problem: Burmese pythons, unleashed on South Florida by pet owners who realized that snakes still get freakin' big in captivity, can kill and eat 6ft alligators, which also means they can pretty much kill and eat a 6ft bro. They also gorge on rabbits, raccoons, opossums, bobcats, domestic cats, and neighborhood dogs. The National Park Services says there may be as many as 100,000 of these mother effers lurking in South Florida, and just last month a researcher yanked an 18ft 3in, 150lb monster out of the grass in the Everglades.
What you can do: The Florida Wildlife Commission just announced that it will hold its second Python Challenge tournament this January, in the “sunning season,” when cold weather prompts the slithery beasts to come out of hiding and sunbathe. The tournament allows for shotguns and machetes, but you’re encouraged to catch snakes by hand and bring them in alive for study. Teams with the most snakes and biggest snake earn cash prizes. You can also just hunt pythons on your own with a proper license. Skin one and make a wallet out of it, and you can finally say, with all honesty, that you have a python in your pants.