Maroon 5 and Michael Bolton rock your face off?

Much like your father and two members of the Eagles, the Grammy-winning & -nominated performers on this list spent their early years rocking, or at least trying to. Sometimes they were terrible at it, sometimes they were surprisingly good, and sometimes they actually seemed like they were born to rock, and the surprise came when they started sucking. The important thing is that all of these songs actually happened

Michael Bolton, "Everybody's Crazy", 1985Even though he's from Connecticut, Michael always dreamed of being Canada's answer to Whitesnake

Kara's Flowers (predecessor to Maroon 5), "Soap Disco", 1997Somebodyused to listen to a lot of Weezer. At least back then Adam Levine wasn't making you feel like a bitch by having 47 more tattoos than you

Sugar Ray, "Mean Machine", 1995 (pre- DJ Super Cat)Nicole Eggert poses naked on the cover of the album this appears on, so what more could Sugar Ray have possibly gained by selling out? Besides money?*

REO Speedwagon, "Gypsy Woman's Passion", 1971This tune should be called "I'm Going To Keep On Loving You, Original REO Speedwagon Singer With The Nose Broom"

Goo Goo Dolls, "Come On", 1987Hardcore fans blame Scott Norwood for this Buffalo punk band going on to record a ballad for the Meg Ryan/Nicholas Cage "romantic fantasy drama" City of Angels

Rod Stewart & The Faces, "Bad 'n' Ruin", 1971Everyone knows Rod rocked before he disco'd. Then again, everyone knows there used to be dinosaurs -- until one eats your lawyer while he's sitting on a toilet, you don't really understand how sweet dinosaurs are. So… watch this video

Fleetwood Mac, "The Green Manalishi (With the Two Prong Crown)", 1970This song was so balls-out Judas Priest covered it on Hell Bent for Leather. Then Stevie nixed the use of power chords, and "Landslide" happened

Bryan Adams, "Take Me Back", 1983Adams' sort-of sequel to Tom Petty's "Breakdown" was so mercilessly ass-kicking he was afraid to make a video for it, so we're using this kick-ass cover by some kick-ass teenagers from what was undoubtably a kick-ass talent show.

Compared to "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You", "Take Me Back" kicks so much ass it might as well be a KISS song called "War Machine" or something.

KISS, "War Machine", 1982Like this one, called "War Machine", which was co-written by a young songwriter named Bryan Adams. Rock and f***ing roll

*Obviously Sugar Ray was never nominated for a Grammy, but Mark McGrath did present one.