And who they killed: a quick, scaly refresher to get you primed for the 3-D re-release
*photo courtesy of Universal Studios
20yrs ago, Jurassic Park hit theaters and gave you one more reason to never become a lawyer. Also, you’re mad old: Jurassic Park came out 20yrs ago. Since such oldness probably means your memory is broken, here’s a rundown of the seven dinosaurs prominently featured in the film, including their height/weight/etc., who and what they killed, and what the sage paleontologist Sam Neill said about them when he wasn’t tying seat belts together in helicopters, because sage paleontologists are too focused on their work to know about seat belts.
Dinosaur: T-Rex Vitals: 49ft tall/17,500lbs/25mph What Sam Neill Said About Them: "Don't move! He can't see us if we don't move." Also: "Aaahhhhhhh!!!!"Confirmed First-Film Kills: Donald Gennaro, the lawyer. On the toilet. With the biting. T-rex also ate a gallimimus when Sam Neill and those kids were running through the plains, then effed up some raptors at the end, not including Andrea Bargnani. Fun Fact: Some scientists in Liverpool figured out that the T-Rex had the strongest "bite force of any terrestrial animal that has ever lived… generating 57,000 Newtons of force in the back teeth." That's three times as much force as a great white, seven times the force of those pansy Allosauruses, 15 times the force of an African lion, and at least twice the force of those marble-eating demon hippos from Hungry Hungry Hippos
Dinosaur: Gallimimus Vitals: 7ft high ("at the hips" Me-ow!)/970lbs/43mph What Sam Neill Said About Them: "Some of them smell." (ED NOTE: he may've been referring to something else). Confirmed First-Film Kills: Are you kidding? Gallimimuses can barely kill time, though they do it by attempting to trample Hammond kids in the open plain, so maybe that's something. Fun Fact: The name comes from the Latin gallus, meaning "chicken", and mimus, meaning "mimic", because its neural arches are like a chicken's, and because "chicken mimic" is a great thing to call really anything. Also, it could run as fast as an ostrich, but would be soundly beaten by The Flash, and some really good rollerbladers
Dinosaur: BrachiosaurusVitals: 85ft long/50ft high/176,000lbs/6mph
What Sam Neill Said About Them: “It’s... it’s a dinosaur.”
Confirmed First-Film Kills: 0, although its snot-rocket came kinda close to taking out the little vegetarian feminist chick.
Fun Fact: In the first Jurassic Park, it's the first dinosaur seen not named Richard Attenborough. Also, a main belt asteroid, 1991 GX7, has been named 9954 Brachiosaurus. 9953 Brachiosaurus is on record as saying, “Man, I never win sh*t!”