The Group Date
Big one here, as whoever doesn’t go on this is going on the solo. Amanda, Jubilee from X-Men, Caila, Lauren B, Amber, Hayleynemily, Leah, Lauren H, tall Jennifer who never does anything, Rachel, and Olivia: you’re going to all not hang out with the performers from the Neil Diamond Tribute Show, while Becca stays home and focuses her energy on not having sex during her one on one.
Instead, these ladies are all going to hang out with Apparently Prominent Ventriloquist Terry Fator. He has a very 1989 goatee, and you really need to check out the Getting Ventriloquism Taken Seriously section of his Wikipedia page. And Apparently Prominent Ventriloquist Terry Fator is going to make them…do talents! For a talent show, in front of a live audience, of course. This is pretty textbook Bachelor: it’s quite clear that most of these girls’ biggest fear is being talented. Let’s run down who does what.
The Twins: Are, without even so much as a sliver of a joke, completely sick at Irish step dancing. They’re so legit that if they ever made Step Up: Step Sideways Sometimes, Because This Is the Irish Step Dancing One, Channing Tatum could just play a janitor who never dances and the film would be an international hit. They GOT THIS.
Jubilee: Can somehow play the cello. Lotta late nights in the Cello Closet-abutting bunk on the base, huh Jubilee?
Lauren B: Is more than happy to juggle badly and leave the stage quickly.
Amanda: Same, but with hula hoops.
Lauren H: Wears a chicken costume (well) and recites a possibly chicken-themed limerick (horribly).
Tall Jennifer Who Never Does Anything: Does something! Which is hitting a tennis ball through a hula hoop with a tennis racket. So, basically nothing. This talent of hers is a racket. And that was a pun.
Amber: Does LITERALLY nothing. They don’t even show her. Betting on Amber being worthless is the easiest money in Vegas.