The First Group Date
Who we got? We got: Jackie, LB, Lauren H, Becca, Amber, Oh Mandi, ever K-Ci-less JoJo, Jubilee from X-Men, Jennifer, and…Lace! Gimme that Lace. “Let’s learn how to love,” the card reads, which is just great, as the only thing that can possibly be more boring than Ben is learning.
Welcome to Bachelor High! That second one is a word that’s never been used to describe Ben. Because he doesn’t smoke weed. Because he is boring. Professor Chris Harrison, who should clearly be Dean Chris Harrison, or possibly Regional Superintendent Chris Harrison, is dressed in intentionally over-dorky glasses plus sweater vest with buttons for fashion, tells them the deal: they will “take classes,” one team will be eliminated each class, and the winner will become homecoming queen. If The Bachelor is not solidifying archaic gender roles in highly transparent ways that will set women’s rights back centuries, does it even exist?