The Best Halloween Costumes for 2017

Halloween comes but once per year. Which means if your Halloween costume is derivative, lame, uninspired, or -- even worse -- painfully unfunny, you have to limp shamefully through another 12 months before you get a shot at redemption.
So, we've dutifully selected 12 clever Halloween costumes tied to some of 2017's most viral, memorable moments. You won't find suggestions on how to cobble together enough flowers and the right green fabric for Beyoncé's birth announcement (sorry, you'll never be as elegant) or a Stranger Things costume (didn't you do that last year?). The deep-cut costumes here will not only make you seem funny and charismatic, but interesting and knowledgeable, too. Make 2017 the best Halloween since you ate 57 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Salt Bae
Nusret Gökçe -- the internet's favorite meat guy -- makes the ideal Halloween costume for anyone who wants to wear a tight shirt, carry around a sliced-up steak all night, and look pretty cool all the while. Be the meme you wish to see in the world.
What you need:
- one tight white T-shirt
- one pair of sunglasses (preferably round)
- one pair of dark jeans
- one cutting board
- cooked meat
- salt
Handmaid's Tail
It's both a cultural statement, assuring people you've been tuning into 2017's most prescient Hulu original programming, and a pun. Because you're wearing an actual tail. It's a play on words, you see.
What you need:
- one dark red robe/cape
- one white bonnet
- one tail (I suggest not going with a furry, wolf-style tail, as people might assume you are doing some weird Little Red Riding Hood thing)
Fidget Spinner
Instead of only partaking in 2017's most divisive fad, you can live it, at least for one night. One annoying, revolving night.
What you need:
- one moderately priced, mass-produced fidget spinner costume
- one tri-pronged ceiling fan, to be decorated as you wish (glitter, LED lights, paint)

Snapchat Hot Dog
You know what this thing is. Bonus points if you do the dance.
What you need:
- one hot dog costume
- one pair of over-the-ear headphones
Shirtless Mario
Earlier this year, Shirtless Mario (also known as "Vacation Mario" or "Nipples Mario") set the internet ablaze by finally showing the plumber-turned-hero topless. And the world, for some reason, couldn't believe he has nipples. He's human, people!
What you need:
- one Mario hat/mustache
- one pair of red/white polka-dot swim trunks
- the willingness to walk around shirtless in mid-October
Pennywise and the Babadook (couples costume)
The clown from It will surely be one of 2017's most popular Halloween costume options, but outdo the single-track thinkers and capitalize on Pennywise's newfound notoriety in the year's most entertaining horror-hookup fan fiction. It's unclear if Pennywise and the Babadook are officially "official," but Halloween is all about pretending anyway. Hold hands all night for extra points.
What you need
- two willing partners
- for Pennywise, you might just want to get one of the mass-produced options out there, and save yourself some work
- the Babadook is a little more involved, and will take some homemade craftsmanship, but you'll definitely need a top hat, an all-black morph suit, and some white makeup

Lorde and Her Onion Ring Blog
Yes, Lorde -- the award-winning singer/possible 40-year-old woman in disguise -- has spent an inordinate amount of time dedicated to secretly reviewing onion rings online, and the truth about her blog was unveiled this year. This costume option should be particularly appealing because you get to: 1) wear very comfortable clothes, and 2) carry around a pile of onion rings all night, which is a great way to meet new people.
What you need:
- dark lipstick
- some flowy, dark clothes
- onion rings
- reporter's notebook (to write down onion ring-thoughts)
- pen
- brunette wig, if necessary
The Eclipse
Keep 2017's most viral astronomical event (or... I guess the only viral astronomical event) going well into the fall with this costume. You can make as many "don't look at me for more than 10 seconds!" jokes as you want.
What you need:
- one sun costume
- one cardboard moon
- eclipse glasses (get your friends to wear some and stare at you, for extra points)
Young Sheldon/Old Sheldon (couples costume)
Whether you hate it, despise it, or just think it's OK, the legacy of The Big Bang Theory's resident mega-nerd/smug jerk Sheldon has spawned a new show about his origin story on CBS: Young Sheldon. This is great for fans of the shows... or for people who can't escape a life of irony.
What you need:
- for adult Sheldon: you really just need a Bazinga! shirt and ill-fitting khaki pants
- for young Sheldon: snag a grossly colorful plaid shirt, tuck it in, and pair with a clashing, cheap bowtie

Boss Baby
In 2017, everyone loved Boss Baby. Don't you want to be a boss baby? Don't you want to be loved, too?
What you need:
- one cheap suit
- one pair of adult diapers, or one expertly tied and stylized white bedsheet
Expanding Brain (group costume)
Consider this meme-based costume that will blow all minds who come across it: the Expanding Brain. It's easy. It's relevant. And it facilitates you and a group of friends repeatedly using the same dumb jokes in front of new people, all night. It's everything a group Halloween costume should be.
What you need:
- a pack of black T-shirts
- a pack of blue bathing caps
- Printed out images of the levels of the Brain Meme, taped to your caps
- Minimum of two (2) friends
The Mad Pooper
Rarely has a defecating jogger captured the minds, hearts, and attention of the world as much as Colorado Springs' "Mad Pooper," who has been terrorizing a local family by, well, repeatedly pooping on their lawns without remorse. Honor her aversion to societal norms, by dressing as her for Halloween. Long live freedom; long live the Mad Pooper.
What you need:
- one gray tank top
- one pair of gray gym shorts
- sneakers
- one handful of (fake) poop
- toilet paper
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