44. Ms. Dynamite (2004)
Went on to be confused with Lady Sovereign inside my head ever since. She deserves better.
43. Marilyn (1984)
The wild card of the first Band Aid. Marilyn was the ultimate frenemy to Boy George; Boy kept him at his side, bought him a recording career, almost certainly pulled the strings that got him into this session, and in return Marilyn introduced him to drugs, stole boyfriends and money, and dated Gavin Rossdale. A real pot-stirrer, this one. Steer well clear.
42. Jason Donovan (1989)
The Andrew Shue to Kylie Minogue's Courtney Thorne-Smith. They were the mid-'80s super-couple on Australian soap Neighbours, and achieved massive worldwide fame. Then he had a cocaine-induced seizure at Kate Moss' 21st birthday party at the Viper Room.
41. Emeli Sandé (2014)
A distinctive voice who comes off like an X Factor contestant here.
40. Kylie Minogue (1989)
Together with Jason Donovan, she sings Bono's "Thank God, it's them" line. And Kylie, I love you, but you lack gravitas.
39. Sam Smith (2014)
Looks shockingly like Boy George, down to the wardrobe, though a Boy George who sounds like he's underwater.
38. Dizzee Rascal (2004)
This is the one thing I've learned from listening to a lot of BBC1 on SiriusXM, and now listening to Beats1: there will always be a Dizzee Rascal. It's like the Dalai Lama. I think Skepta is this year's Dizzee Rascal.
37. Kevin Godley (1989)
Not sure where he is or what he does in Band Aid II, but he's a legend. Here's why he's so low: if you have a partner named Lol Creme, you bring Lol Creme with you wherever you go. People want an opportunity to say "Lol Creme." Shame on you.
36. Shaznay (2004)
Not much to do here, but she earns points for 1) being the best one in All Saints, and 2) having a rock-solid stage name. (Real name: Trish Lewis.)
35. Martyn Ware and Glenn Gregory of Heaven 17 (1984)
We only catch a moment of Glenn in a group shot with Paul Young, George Michael, and Bono, in which he successfully pulls focus with some smooth arm dancing. Heaven 17 didn't stick around much longer, but they gave us "We Live So Fast," so they will be remembered fondly.
34. Fran Healy (of Travis) (2004)
Kicks off the Band Aid 20 video by "bigging up" the project, which I guess was still a thing people said in 2004. Has to be furious at Chris Martin for eating his lunch.
33. Spandau Ballet (1984)
As ever, Tony Hadley serves up some cruise-ship pop-singer realness in his few lines; you find yourself craving shrimp cocktail (which people in Africa don't even have). Spandau Ballet is individually ranked thusly: 5) Martin Kemp, 4) Tony Hadley, 3) John Keeble, 2) Gary Kemp, 1) Steve Norman (see the Spandau documentary Soul Boys of the Western World if you haven't, as you'll just want to hang out with Steve Norman; Tony Hadley would have ranked higher if he hadn't turned into k.d. lang seven years ago).
32. Estelle (2004)
Yes, "American Boy" was a great song, but "1980" is a stone classic. Recognize.
31. One Direction (2014)
They kick Band Aid 30 off decently. No harmonies, no individual standout moments. Zayn looks high as fuck. For the record, the correct 1D ranking, in ascending order, is: 5) Louis, 4) Zayn, 3) Liam, 2) Harry, 1) Niall.
30. Skye Edwards (of Morcheeba) (2004)
Morcheeba was what you listened to in lounges in the '90s. In 2004, they tried for a pop breakthrough. A spot on a Band Aid means you made it, I guess.
29. Lisa Stansfield (1989)
One of our most underrated singers of soul music, sporters of viciously lacquered spit curls, and wearers of unfortunate headgear.
28. Rita Ora (2014)
Rita Ora is our new Jessie J. Like, we acknowledge that she is talented, yet we refuse to accept her into our hearts. I don't know why. She handles herself well here. She was also in Fifty Shades of Grey for some reason.
27. Daniel & Natasha Bedingfield (2004)
"Gotta Get Through This" is arguably a better song than anything Natasha managed, but she held on longer than he did, and way longer than I expected. Last I saw her, she was presenting an award at one of the monthly country music awards shows. I get the feeling Natasha just kind of goes where you tell her.
26. Wet Wet Wet (1989)
Blue-eyed soul dreamboats who never quite caught on in the States. Singer Marti Pellow has a face as adorable has his name is creepy. (Very.)
25. Will Young (2004)
The first winner of Pop Idol, who swiftly came out of the closet, which was not a thing people were doing much back then. Good on you, Will Young.
24. Jody Watley (1984)
A real surprise, given that her solo career wouldn't start for a couple more years. Who is her publicist? I would like to hire her publicist. Also: great hair, great earrings, great bouncing. Jody was laying groundwork here, and I respect it.
23. Tim Wheeler of Ash (2004)
Young, talented, CW handsome. Better in "Girl From Mars" than here.
22. The non-Bob Geldof members of Boomtown Rats (1984)
Along for the ride. Can't blame them.
21. Cathy Dennis & D-Mob (1989)
Barely makes an appearance in the video, but the group's spot in the pop firmament is secure. If nothing else, Dennis made a bundle off the American Idol theme song.
20. Bob Geldof (1984)
The reason for the season, a legend, a saint, a knight. He has dealt with too much personal heartbreak in the years since. And he should have had a bigger solo career.