A Cure for Wellness
Rotten Tomatoes score: 41%
Size of release: 2,704 theaters
Total U.S. box-office gross: $8.1 million
Once upon a time, director Gore Verbinski was set to bring the steampunk-with-an-Objectivist-twist video game Bioshock to the screen. Didn't happen, but A Cure for Wellness' mix of Art Deco scenery and Universal Monster scratches the itch. Dane DeHaan plays a cutthroat Wall Streeter sent to retrieve his company's CEO at a luxurious spa resort in the Swiss Alps. What he finds is a mystery intertwining water purification, eels, teeth extraction, a 200-year-old murder, beer-guzzling deviants, and one creepy-ass doctor. At nearly three hours long, and with enough turns to do the resort's mountain road justice, A Cure for Wellness plays more like a turn-of-the-century serial than a Friday-filler slasher. Think of it as your new favorite HBO series in movie form -- too majestic, too mesmerizing, and too bizarre to write off (which most people did, as evidenced by the dismal box-office total).
Where to see it right now: Rent on iTunes, Amazon Video, YouTube, and VUDU