This article contains spoilers for "Blood of My Blood," the sixth episode of the sixth season of Game of Thrones. Proceed with caution. You might also consider reading our full recap of the episode.
If you think people who walk and text are annoying, try hauling around a guy who greensights on the move. Look up from your screen, Bran, you're missing out on The Now!
Previously on Game of Thrones: White Walkers torched the Three-Eyed Raven's weirwood tree, Meera and Bran went on the run, and Hodor held the door -- or his corpse did, long enough for his friends to gain a lead. "Blood of My Blood" opens seconds later, with Bran in the middle of a vision. Last week, the kid's processing power failed him. By simultaneously downloading the Three-Eyed Raven's memories into his system and taking over the screen of his simpleton strongman pal, Bran unleashed the Pinwheel of Death on Hodor's brain, then jumbled his own circuits in the process.
The greensight version of Chrome restores 8,000 tabs of Westerosian browsing history, and unless fans sat there clicking pause every microsecond, they missed everything logged in Bran's cloud. Luckily, we are those pause-hitting crazy people. Here's what we caught:
An elder dragon swoops in
Before Daenerys nurtured Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion to mammoth, head-biting size, Westeros went a good 300 years without any dragon activity. Meaning this gloomy glimpse of reptilian aggression could be from the days of King Aegon I, who conquered the seven kingdoms with three of these critters in the name of House Targaryen. Or is this the future, when Daenerys swoops in and repeats history?
Aerys II Targaryen enacting his psychotic, magical plan
Long discussed, never witnessed, Bran's vision witnesses the "Mad King" going full Denethor II and calling for his own death, and the destruction of King's Landing. Cut to...
Tyrion's secret weapon makes a return
Last seen igniting Stannis' ships during the Battle of the Blackwater, the neon-green combustible "wildfire" returns to Thrones in a most disturbing fashion. The story goes that Aerys wanted to burn himself alive so that he could transform into a dragon. He really owned the whole "Mad King" thing. So Aerys commanded his king's hand, Rossart, or "Aerys' pyromancer," as Jaime referred to the offscreen character during his bath with Brienne, to light up his wildfire supplies in the tunnels below King's Landing. Someone was there to stop him.
Jaime earns a moniker
We've heard Westerosians refer to Jaime Lannister as "Kingslayer" since the first episode. Now Bran witnesses the historical act with his own two eyes, a Brutus act of backstabbing -- literally! -- that everyone agreed needed to happen. But he's a bit cocky about it. Bran catches that, too.
As we know from other events in "Blood of My Blood," Jaime is on the losing end of every battle on his radar. Diplomacy in Dorne ended with the death of his daughter. Reinstating the Lannister legacy was a bust when the High Sparrow wooed Tommen to his youth group. Now he's headed to the Riverlands. We'll see how that goes. Can Jaime ever be the Kingslayer again? Or was this moment the beginning of the end for him?
Ned Stark asks the question
"Where's my sister?" Game of Thrones teased us with the inevitable "Tower of Joy" reveal back when Bran first learned of his abilites to greensight. Now it's coming full circle. What did happen that day? An appearance by young Ned Stark, snuck into the hyper-edited montage, proves Bran now has the knowledge he needs to change the game.
Wait, so what did happen to Ned's sister?
Lyanna Stark is the Thrones universe's Helen of Troy. Prince Rhaegar's alleged kidnapping of the Stark girl sparked "Robert's Rebellion," which led to the slaying of Aerys and the downfall of House Targaryen. Lyanna died during the campaign, though the nature of her death remains unknown. Game of Thrones theorists believe she might be the true mother, and Rhaegar the father, of Jon Snow, making him an obvious choice for Daenerys' dragon-riding companion. This image teases a revelation.
And if that wasn't all, "Blood of My Blood" reintroduced Bran's uncle, Benjen Stark, last seen heading beyond the Wall to find White Walkers. Imagine if Chuck came back to Happy Days, and you'll understand how big Benjen's return is to the diehards. Now he's essentially "Coldhands," a mysterious character from the books who assisted Bran, and even Sam Tully, with undead problems. "Coldhands Benjen," as creator D.B. Weiss specifically calls him in the post-show banter, was stabbed by a Walker with dragonglass, and now possesses a deep connection to the Three-Eyed Raven. (Who is not dead! He's just inside Bran, who will have to hack his way into the magical mainframe to dig up information crucial to defeating the White Walkers.)
"[The Night's King] will find his way into the world of men," Benjen tells Bran. "When he does, you'll be ready for him." How? Could Bran time-travel back to the creation of the Night's King and undo this mess? Will the Tower of Joy empower Jon with the knowledge he needs to melt these dudes into oblivion? Will Bran challenge the White Walker head honcho to a Westeros trivia contest? Go warg on it, and come back with your answers.