In closing, we’d like to thank you for choosing the Regent Valu-Corp Suites [Full Bed, A/C, Minibar](AIRPORT LOCATION), Sir/Madam. Please consider booking your trip with us again. After all, according to a recent survey, the guests who stayed in this room before you ranked our Continental Breakfast a “Perfect 10” on a scale from 1-10, with 1 being “It’s delicious” and 10 being “HORSE, I BEG FOR MERCY! I'LL SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT! PLEASENOAGHHHHHHHHHHH!”
When you think about it that way, we couldn’t fathom staying anywhere else. Could you?! (Remember: we have your billing address on file.) Please remember to return your room keys to the front desk as you check out.
Yours in service,
Management, Regent Valu-Corp Suites [Full Bed, A/C, Minibar](AIRPORT LOCATION)
*The Regent Valu-Corp Suites Plunder & Restoration Team lovingly converted one of the city’s decrepit kitty litter factories into the period-faithful, semi-licensed hotel you’re standing in at this very moment!