The 25 Most Depraved 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' Moments
Over 10 seasons, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has continually reset the line for what you can and can't do on TV. A recurring pair of incestuous brothers? Sure. Nude Danny DeVito springing from inside a leather couch? Why not. Season 11, which premieres tonight on FXX, promises to show us some horrific new schemes, but before it debuts, we decided to look back on the most shameless, twisted antics the gang has pulled off so far, in chronological order. Let's just hope Dumpster Baby is now in better hands.
Mac pretends to be incredibly anti-abortion to pick up a pro-lifer
You know that classic sitcom (or just life) trope where a guy pretends to be into something to impress a girl? It's Always Sunny takes that to ghastly new heights in its second episode when Mac pretends to be militantly anti-abortion to sleep with a volunteer at an evangelical group. Just how militant are we talking? He shows her a fake list of doctors to murder, with two names already crossed off.
Charlie lounges in Dennis and Dee's grandfather's Nazi uniform
Dennis doesn't like his grandpa and Dee thinks old people are gross, so nursing home visitation falls on Charlie. When Pop-Pop asks him to pick up a box of his things, Charlie makes a horrifying discovery: the guy was a Nazi. So he reacts like any normal person would... by casually wearing the full uniform around his apartment and eating a banana.
Dennis, Dee, Mac, and Frank fake handicaps to pick up strippers
Spoiler alert: it doesn't work.
Dennis and Mac pretend to be jihadists to scare off an Israeli business owner
Yes, this includes highly offensive costumes and yes, a threatening videotape is involved. To their credit, even the guys realize it's over the line and decide they should destroy tape. Too bad Charlie doesn't.
Dennis and Dee exploit the welfare system
Pretending to have mental problems to get free money from the government is pretty terrible, but at least it led to this Biz Markie sing-along.
Mac and Dee plan to raise and profit off a baby they found in the dumpster
Deciding to help a deserted baby? Good. Taking it to the tanning salon so it's more appealing on commercial auditions? Child abuse.
Frank starts a sweatshop
This is apparently not the first time he's done this, either. But Mac adds a grim new element with some German propaganda blasting from the sound system.
Dennis tricks Dee into thinking her boyfriend is mentally retarded
Dennis plays a vicious points game with Dee's rapper boyfriend to convince her he's mentally impaired. Lil' Kevin is actually fine -- they should probably be more worried about Charlie, who writes "The Dayman Cometh" after huffing too many paint fumes in the same episode.
Charlie and Dee get Rickety Cricket addicted to coke
This whole round-up could just be different ways the gang torments Rickety Cricket (formerly, Father Matthew Mara), but on the spectrum, "leading him on until he leaves the church and becomes homeless" isn't as bad as "forcibly rubbing cocaine on his gums until he's addicted, then selling him out to the mob."
Frank pimps Dennis out as a prostitute
Speaking of the mob, as the gang desperately tries to pay off their debt to the Mafia in the two-parter "The Gang Gets Whacked," Frank pimps out his own son. Dennis does not enjoy it.
Dee and Charlie kinda become cannibals
No one actually eats human flesh in the "Manhunters" episode. But Frank's lie to Dee and Charlie about the mystery meat they devoured is convincing enough to send them to the morgue for prime cuts and the streets for homeless teens to season.
Dennis and Mac hunt Rickety Cricket
Some people just can't catch a break.
Frank sleeps with Gail the Snail
Amazingly, the fact that "Gail the Snail" is Frank's dead wife's niece isn't the worst part of this scenario. Neither is the fact that he was originally going after Gail's mom Donna, at her husband's funeral. Nope, it's the fact that Gail is so repulsive, she has to be shooed away with salt. Because there's no joy in salting someone. Everyone loses.
Dee ditches Ben the soldier when she sees him in a wheelchair
Bailing on an online date because he lied about his age is one thing. Doing it because he's a recently discharged soldier in a wheelchair (temporarily, it turns out) is quite another.
The entire D.E.N.N.I.S. system
For those that need a refresher, "D.E.N.N.I.S." stands for "Demonstrate value. Engage physically. Nurturing dependence. Neglect emotionally. Inspire hope. Separate entirely." It's Dennis's method for picking up women and, like most things he does, it's profoundly psychotic.
Frank and Artemis have sex in a Dumpster outside Wendy's
This is a running gag in the season six episode "Who Got Dee Pregnant?" and apparently, Artemis did something inventive with a hamburger bun. Don't ask.
Mac plays Murtaugh in blackface in the gang's Lethal Weapon 5
A few things here. One: At some point in the past, the gang made a "perfect" unauthorized Lethal Weapon sequel. Two: Dennis switches parts with Mac halfway through so he can play Riggs. Three: Mac will only play his new role (Murtaugh) in blackface, despite Dennis's protests. Four: They all show this film to an audience at Paddy's. Five: The audience is children.
Charlie's mom is a yuletide hooker
Nothing says the holidays quite like your mom bringing a bunch of johns in Santa suits over on Christmas morning.
Dennis and Dee take angel dust in a van and rob a liquor store
It happens on the Jersey Shore, of course.
Frank runs a creepy beauty pageant for little kids
In Frank's desperate attempt to prove to pageant parents he's not a pervert, he does just the opposite. A word to the wise, child pageant pros: do not assure everyone you're not a "diddler" while blood gushes from your nose.
Bill Ponderosa spikes the milk at the McPoyle wedding with bath salts
In a plot twist, the incestuous McPoyles aren't the most degenerate part of the Maureen Ponderosa-Liam McPoyle wedding. That honor instead goes to Maureen's brother Bill, who slips bath salts into all the milk (the McPoyle beverage of choice) and turns everyone into face-tearing monsters.
Charlie's mom pretends to have cancer to get money for a church statue she destroyed
And she got the idea from watching her dear, debased son.
Mac, Dennis, Charlie, and Dee try to trigger Ben the soldier's PTSD
After a series of bad business moves (Mac and Dennis buy a timeshare, Dee and Charlie get into a pyramid scheme), the gang decides Ben is the best dunce to dupe into their respective scams. But he won't bite, so they conspire to trigger his PTSD until he signs away all his cash. Dee and Charlie come in with night-vision googles while Mac and Dennis dust off their old jihadist get-ups. Neither approach pays off. What does pay off? Ben's inexplicable Ebenezer Scrooge sleeping wear.
Mac and Dee don blackface for the gang's Lethal Weapon 6
Guess Dennis lost that argument again.
Frank gives a frat boy a beer with "7-12" sleeping pills
When you're trying to best the 64 beers Wade Boggs (supposedly) drank on a cross-continental flight, something bad is bound to happen. This time, Frank feeds a college student a beer laced with way too many sleeping pills so he can't compromise the plane's supply of alcohol. Then Frank pretends to be a doctor and duct-tapes the kid to his seat when he starts convulsing. Never change, gang. Never change.
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Kristin Hunt is a freelance writer for Thrillist. Her favorite episode of It's Always Sunny is and forever will be "Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games." Follow her to smashed action figures at @kristin_hunt.