Beyond The Wall

The 21 Most Insane 'Game of Thrones' Questions People Have Asked on Quora

game of thrones quora night king
"Why isn't Winter here, she was supposed to arrive hours ago?" | HBO
"Why isn't Winter here, she was supposed to arrive hours ago?" | HBO

What happens when you mix Game of Thrones, the pop-culture phenomenon that has captivated the world thanks to its sex, violence, political machinations, and dragons, with Quora, the crowdsourced Q&A platform for people who think they're too smart for Yahoo! Answers but lack the self-awareness to realize they are definitely not too smart for Yahoo! Answers? Pure, unfiltered, galaxy-brain-level discussions that truly test the limits of human inanity, that's what happens.

The HBO series wraps up in May, but with any luck, these Quora threads will continue appearing for years to come, spontaneously generating from the Swiss cheese brains of fans looking for answers in all the wrong places. While the site often features relatively reasonable queries about the show ("What are your predictions for Game of Thrones Season 8?"), the 21 questions below will challenge whatever preconceived notions you hold of human higher brain function. (Note: All questions and responses are [sic] to give you the full Quora experience.)

jon snow game of thrones
TFW u wake up from being dead and realize you're part of a death cult. | HBO

Is the Game of Thrones fan base a modern death cult

Best response: "It has virtually no features in common with cults in general, aside from being made up of humans."
Why it's insane: One of the best features of Quora is that on older posts, many of the details to go along with the original question are lost to time. What led this person to believe that GoT fans were members of a death cult? Is there actually a Thrones-adjacent death cult out there? What did Game of Thrones fans do to this person's family??? These are questions we could ask on Quora, but won't. 

Why don't Game of Thrones characters ever say "Oh yeah!"

Best response: "I cringe whenever a character in a show set in a medievaloid world says 'OK'. GRRM knew this."
Why it's insane: There's only one response to this question, which is too bad, because we really need the brainpower of the entire Quora hive working on it night and day. Especially since this is less of a question and more of a brilliant note: Game of Thrones would be WAY better if the characters said "Oh yeah!" more frequently, like when Tyrion shoots his father through the chest with a bow when the latter is taking a shit. If he did a little fist pump and shouted, "Oh yeah!" an already memorable moment would transcend to all-time-great levels. Hopefully this suggestion makes it through to the writers of whatever spinoffs and prequels come down the pipe in the next few years. 

Who is the biggest idiot in Game of Thrones?

Best response: "Lancel Lannister... He has sex with a stupid woman."
Why it's insane: This is one of those party questions from the party you wish you hadn't attended but felt obligated even though you regretted going the moment you walked in the door. If you find yourself wondering who the biggest idiot in the room is, the answer is you. 

Is Jon Snow an idiot in Game of Thrones

Best response: "It’s really hard and pretty pointless to discuss things like wether someone is an idiot or not."
Why it's insane: Who is and is not an idiot on Game of Thrones seems to be a major concern for Quora users, and we have no choice but to respond with the internet's favorite game-changing putdown: Your an idiot. Of course Jon Snow is an idiot, the most famous line about him is "You know nothing, Jon Snow." You know who knows nothing? IDIOTS. 

Why does Jon Snow know nothing? 

Best response: "It isn't saying that Jon's an idiot (which is a tired joke that gets used out way too much; it's not funny, people, and you're not clever for dragging it out)."
Why it's insane: Because he's an idiot. 

How does HBO make the naked shots in Game of Thrones

Best response: "They have actors remove their costumes, then start the cameras."
Why it's insane: This is the most accurate and thorough answer on all of Quora. 

Why is it Game of Thrones and not Games of Throne

Best response: "It is 'Game Of Thrones' because a single game is palyed for 7 thrones."
Why it's insane: Tag this one with "wow, rly make u think." It presents an IP opportunity for some ambitious young writer; create Games of Throne, a fantasy show based on medieval card games played by royalty, and watch your career take off. 

What would Joey Tribbiani say if he watched Game of Thrones?

Best response: Honestly the entire top response is a savant-like work of brilliance that you should read in its entirety. It contains this: "All spaghetti falls on floor. Once the nude scene is over he comes to senses and sees spaghetti lying on floor. Gets up, picks up the spaghetti and eats it. Joey never wastes food!"
Why it's insane: This answer sounds like it was written by Seinfeld2000, and it's a breathtaking work of staggering genius. 

Who is Winter in Game of Thrones?

Best response: "It's cold, you might freeze to death, and if you didn't have enough food left there's a high chance you'll starve. People didn't like Winter back then."
Why it's insane: There's a beautiful Beckett-esque quality to this question, a playful take on language and the human condition. Aren't we all constantly preparing for Winter's arrival, the pall of death and decay that we can't avoid no matter what painstaking lengths we've gone to brace ourselves for the inevitable? Much as we'd like to, we cannot change the fact that life will rain down horror after horror upon us, perhaps punctuated with a few moments of joy if we're lucky, and then we will die and fade into dust. Who is Winter really? She is all of us, and she is no one; she is our common friend and our common enemy. Also, Winter was a hunchback chambermaid at Winterfell who briefly appeared in an early Season 1 episode.

Will they make a Game of Thrones musical? Would you go see it

Best response: "Yes, and you can buy the tickets on ticketmaster.com, and it is performing live in St. Louis on October 5th 2018."
Why it's insane: A two-parter! It doesn't matter who "they" are, but I think we can all agree that medieval fantasy dramas are best experienced in musical form. The hypothetical part of the question reveals that it is probably not the greatest idea to conduct market research via Quora thread.  

Who is stronger: a mature alpha male chimpanzee or The Mountain from Games of Thrones (world's strongest man)?

Best response: "A chimpanzee is exceedingly, scarily strong, with an unparalleled dexterity, and millenia of evolution at their back." 
Why it's insane: This is the stoned college freshman version of the "who would win?" meme, and you can probably picture the pastel-polo-wearing bros who would find this an interesting hypothetical. "Bro... BRO! There is NO WAY The Mountain would be stronger than an alpha chimp, those things are wild animals, bro!" 

If Eminem or another skilled rapper were to write a rap for Game Of Thrones, what might the lyrics be?

Best response: "Game of throne is an ancient story of wars and betrayal. So it would be not suitable to have a Rapping content for the show."
Why it's insane: If only there were another skilled rapper not named Eminem out there! Fortunately, we don't have to imagine what the answer to this question would be: We can look at the two-volume Catch the Throne mixtape that appeared in 2014 and 2015, featuring skilled rappers like Big Boi, Common, Wale, Talib Kweli, Snoop Dogg, and Method Man, among others. Sample lyrics for Snoop's contribution, "Lannister's Anthem," are: "He won this game, king with the crown / Go against Joffrey and he'll cut your ass down / So sick but it's slay shit / Debt-payers, pay your dues or you will get dealt with." Incredible. 

I haven't watched a single season of Game of Thrones despite the hype around it. Is this a grave sin I mustn't talk about?

Best response: "I still haven't been blown away by the massive peer influence regarding GoT, even after being around TV fanatics (like myself) who watch almost 25–30 shows per year, regularly."
Why it's insane: The response that includes the line above contains some interesting theories about peer pressure's influence on pop culture; it's longwinded and delightfully pretentious. Can you believe this responder watches 25 to 30 shows per year and still won't bow to the peer pressure insisting s/he watch Thrones? Also, the real answer to this question is: Yes, it is a grave sin and you mustn't talk about it.

How would you convince the Pope to watch Game of Thrones?

Best response: "By the time the High Sparrow appears in the story, his holiness will already be hooked."
Why it's insane: Who the hell thinks of these questions??? Does someone presume that they will 1) have access to the leader of the Catholic Church, and 2) use that access to convince Francis to watch Game of Thrones? His Holiness doesn't even let people kiss his ring, how are you going to get him to fire up Thrones

Do the Game of Thrones characters smoke?

Best response: "People used to stink more than now, and few would have noticed the stink of smoke."
Why it's insane: One common theme that runs through the responses of GoT fans on Quora is the propensity to make a historical argument, like "Judging by the lack of many amenities like gun powder, i would say that the game of thrones environment is set in the 15th century. But smoking as a habit was not to be until the 1870s since the first commercial cigarette was made in 1865." This fucking show has DRAGONS and RESURRECTIONS. The characters could smoke if they wanted to! It would be way cooler if they did -- you can bet Stannis would've loved to light up after another one of his plans failed, and Cersei would definitely pull out a pack of cigs to go with a jug of wine. 

Why is Game of Thrones popular when it is fake story

Best response: "It's not a fake story. It's a fiction. And let me tell you the difference between fake and fiction." 
Why its insane: It's always a fantastic time on the internet when some stranger very earnestly explains the concept of fiction on a thread about Game of Thrones. This is truly the modern equivalent of the ancient Greek agora, a space where the leading thinkers of our time can convene and share knowledge. About what a novel is. 

How quickly could the U.S. army conquer the world in Game of Thrones?

Best response: "Raid enemy camps at night using night warfare tactics. Use snipers to shoot down their leaders and leave the men disorganized. Drive your tanks straight into enemy formations and slaughter them with impunity. Pretty soon, all the enemy can do is resort to guerrilla warfare."
Why it's insane: Almost as quickly as the U.S. army conquered Iraq and Afghanistan, based on the answer above. 

What Grateful Dead references are clearly evident in Game of Thrones

Best response: "I think most of the tone and message from 'Ripple' can be evident in many of the Themes in both ASOIAF and Game of Thrones."
Why it's insane: One of the least surprising facts about George R.R. Martin is that he loves Grateful Dead.

In Game of Thrones, why do they not wear hats north of the wall

Best response: "They are covering their head. at least in books they do. there is cowl over the cloak they were. these are special tight weave wool cloak with extra material which form the cowl or to translate to modern lingo the "hoodie.'"
Why it's insane: Hey, yeah! Why don't they wear hats north of the wall? It's so cold up there! They should wear hats if they don't want to get sick. Thankfully, there's nothing living up there anymore. 

As a professional psychologist, how would you diagnose the characters in Game of Thrones?

Best response: "First of all, I am not someone professional."
Why it's insane: If there's one thing you should look for in a psychologist, it's how often he or she takes to Quora to diagnose fictional characters. The ideal professional hits an average of about three times a week. Unsurprisingly, this query didn't attract psychologists like a sensitive political situation attracts Jon Snow. That's probably for the best. 

How do Lord Varys and Theon Greyjoy urinate?

Best response: "After a day or two, the plug is removed where urine would gush out. The sterile urine would help keep the wound clean and prevent infection."
Why it's insane: If you have to ask, you'll never know. Thank the old gods and the new for that. 

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