Watching TV in the age of self-quarantine has been an odd experience. Behavior that would usually seem normal -- going outside, shaking hands -- suddenly seems like speculative fiction. For instance, Cheers, which I'd been watching as comfort food, became an artifact about a time when people could do things like, you know, go to bars without fear of spreading disease. But another beloved comedy that looks positively utopian is Curb Your Enthusiasm, currently airing its 10th season on HBO. Suddenly, all of Larry David's bugaboos seem prophetic. Larry David is the savior we've needed all along.
All throughout Season 10, Larry's been building a strip-mall coffee shop called Latte Larry's as a "spite store" specifically intended to befuddle Mocha Joe, the owner of a neighboring coffee shop named Mocha Joe's, after he banned Larry for expressing concerns about the wobbly tables, muffin-like scones and lukewarm coffee at Mocha Joe's. But Larry's not merely content to outdo his enemy; he also wants Latte Larry's to be the embodiment of his ideal retail establishment.
What does this mean for Larry David? First, the beans have to be great, a requirement that leads Larry and Leon to steal beans from a resort in Mexico. Second: no defecating. You're not allowed to poop in Larry's store, but if you're a dude, peeing is a joy thanks to high-tech urinals he installed that he calls "pee cubes." Third: revolutionary mugs that keep your coffee hot, even if they're desinged by a man (played by Alan Tudyk) who might be a Nazi. Fourth: no wobbly tables ever. And finally, as we saw in the season's penultimate episode: a huge bottle of Purell on every table.