"Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake?" asks Drake on the song "Childs Play" off his new record, Views. "You know I love to go there." It's a quintessential Drake moment: highly relatable yet immeasurably corny. His fourth studio album, which debuted last night on Apple Music, is packed with moments like this. So packed, in fact, that listening to the album in its entirety resembles eating a meal at the Cheesecake Factory. Then throwing up.
You know the vibe: tasteful lighting, folded linen napkins on the tables, plants by the windows, and maybe a soothing painting on the ceiling. The service is friendly. Suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you see your food arriving and think, "Holy shit, that inexpensive grilled chicken tostada salad I ordered is huge." Drake's Views is that grilled chicken tostada salad. It's made fresh. It's impeccably produced. But, with over 20 tracks and a running time over 73 minutes, it shouldn't be consumed in one sitting.
In other words, you'll want to bring a doggie bag. And to prepare you for your weekend binge-listening with your woes, here's the essential info you need to know about this towering stack of croutons Drake calls an album: