(Well, maybe contagious. But not the other ones.)
More generally, The Highly Obnoxious Bro puts drinking first. "My life is a drinking game," he will say as he Jerseys his tallboy of light beer and adjusts his beach tank. And so it is: from haircuts, to funerals, to solitary Tuesday lunches, there is no moment in his life that is not spent drinking, thinking about drinking, or recovering from a previous round of drinking. For The Highly Obnoxious Bro, the game is the game.
2. Be “realistic,” “brutally honest,” and “not racist, but…” at all times
The Highly Obnoxious Bro always speaks his mind. After all, a man who chooses JBone_da_GAWD as his Instagram handle has neither time, patience, nor use for a filter. He is not cocky, he is confident. He will speak truth to power. Of course, in this context, "power" means "anyone with slightly different opinions than me," and "speak truth" is more accurately described as "hurl epithets without real threat of consequence." But these are semantics, and The Highly Obnoxious Bro is not here for those. He is here to tell women that they are a number, and that the number is "six at best, don't kid yourself." He is Just Telling It Like It Is™.