Mortal Kombat became infamous for its gruesome finishing moves, but it also proved that it's impossible to rip a guy's spine out and beat his limp body with it on an empty stomach. To coincide with Machinima's new season of the Mortal Kombat: Legacy web series -- and Thrillist & Heavy's giveaway of a MK arcade machine -- we've compiled a master list of the eating-based finishing moves from throughout the series... watch the fighters fill up, then check out the link to score your own machine. The phrase "finish him" has seldom been so literal.
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Mileena's De-Boned Meat
When this hot little sai-tossing twin of Kitana popped up, most prepubescent boys wanted to make out with her... until she pulled off her mask to reveal a bunch of gnarly teeth, then inhaled her opponents and barfed out all the bones. Not exactly the kind of boning your neighbor in junior high was hoping for.
Reptile's Head Chomp
When Reptile popped up on the characters list in Pt. II, he just looked like another member of the Scorpion/ Sub Zero gang... until he tore off his mask to reveal the face of a lizard and the tongue of a frog... and an appetite for head cheese.
Another monochromatic ninja, another unhealthy meal. Smoke straight-up tosses a smoke bomb in your mouth. A bomb that, like those anti-smoking commercials imply, rots you out from the inside.
Stryker seems to be a mall cop with a murderous streak, introduced in Pt. 3 wielding a gun and a taser (take it from us, tasers suck). He also is part T-Rex, and he's hungry. What dinosaur does that make Paul Blart?
Villain Shang Tsung just wants to feed the world... by jumping into people's mouths, then exploding out of them. And with that, intestines entered the arena.
Modeled after a drunken boxer and rocking a play on the Spanish word for 'blotto', Bo Rai Cho drinks a lot during the fights... and to finish it off does the ultimate frat-dude magic trick of lighting his gas and turning his ass into a flamethrower. Classy. His other finishing move is barfing on the enemy until he melts. Classier still!
The demonic Havik was introduced in later games as yet another dude with a messed up grill. And apparently an appetite for the human equivalent of chicken wings. Weirder still, after he gnaws off your arms, he barfs up a lot of blood... so maybe he has body-image issues?
Have a Heart
This dude, who is apparently the bad guy from Karate Kid all grown-up, one-upped Kano's famous heart-rip by stuffing his victim's heart in his mouth afterward. What ever happened to just sweeping the leg?
What's more humiliating than getting smacked around by a dude who farts fire? Getting extinguished by being tossed into a pond and devoured by tiny fish. Like a chump.
Enter the Dragon
Liu Kang is obviously partly modeled after Bruce Lee, but the revelation that he's actually part dragon -- and doesn't like leg or thigh meat -- just sealed the deal.
In response to critics who thought that the whole rampant evisceration thing was a little too much, the game introduced the epic "Friendship" finishing moves like this one from Pt. 3, in which Kabal uses his hook swords to roast marshmallows for his enemy. But he probably burned them, because he's still a prick.
Because nothing says friendly like chewing gum and not sharing, which in Kano's case is a bigger jerk move than ripping out a heart.
Peace of Cake
It's hard to say what's weirder about Kitana's Friendship move: That she busts out a birthday cake, or that she appears to make it by barfing in her hands. Either way, free cake!