We pick up a few years after The Fate of the Furious left off, with Dom and Letty putting their young son, named Brian after their friend and brother (the late Paul Walker), to bed, gifting him with Dom's characteristic cross necklace "for protection." Protection?????? From what????????? It appears The Fast Fam isn't done doing semi-illegal stuff, and mere seconds into the trailer the whole band is already back together.
But wait: there's more. John Cena is in this one, and not only is he the villain, he's actually Dom Toretto's brother?????? Oh my god???? Extra funny that they got a guy with a full coif of hair playing Vin Diesel's brother. He seems to be a buddy of Cipher (Charlize Theron), the cool hacker villain from the previous movie who's stuck in aquarium prison.
But that's NOT ALL. The cars, they're back, and they're going really fast. Like, rocket fast. One car literally has a rocket engine strapped to it, and in another scene, a car uses a rope bridge to swing around a cliff. Vin Diesel CATCHES a car during a chase on a busy city street. Dom chases John Cena across a couple double-decker buses. An entire armored vehicle made up of like three cars (I'm sure there's a word for what this is but I'm too wired to look it up) is flipped over Dark Knight-style. Awesome. What could be better than this??
THE RETURN OF HAN, OF COURSE. This is not a drill: Han Lue, a.k.a. Han Seoul-Oh, is back from the very, very dead, having survived, seemingly, Deckard Shaw's (Jason Statham) assassination attempt at the beginning of Furious 7. Yeah, I freakin' screamed!!!! In a room full of my colleagues, very embarrassing.
So there you have it: the Fast Fam is back at it, and Universal has finally listened to our #JusticeForHan pleas. This is going to be the best movie ever made.