Batman, Superman, and your other childhood heroes, now morbidly obese

Unless you're Benjamin Button, or, like, athletic, chances are you've gotten a bit bigger since your childhood. But guess what? So have all the superheroes, Saturday morning cartoon characters, and video-game greats you grew up with! LET'S ALL GET FAT TOGETHER!

Famous Chunkies is all about it. Created by artist Alex Solis, these 34 illustrations plumb the grim depths of fictional human obesity via chubby caped crusaders, hefty heroes, and a particularly destitute Charlie Brown.

Fatten your meatbelts, kids:

fat mario

Though Solis posterizes a slew of badass prints for your walls, these girthy editions aren't yet for sale. So until they are, we can only look on in envy and make pithy comments about our now-fat former friends.

fat star wars
The Empire Strikes...
fat darth vader
... veggies from the menu!
fat charlie brown

Peppermint Patty will never bang you now, Chuck.

fat batman
The gyro Gotham needs...
fat joker
... but not the gut it flaunts right now.
fat captain america

Of all the illustrations, the most poignant is this one of Captain America crushing a platter of cheeseburgers by himself. Perhaps it's a commentary on our great nation's hopeless obesity rate. Or maybe, just maybe, it's a testament to the fact that these colors don't run... from cholesterol.

Dave Infante is a senior writer for Thrillist food & drink, and is within striking distance of his goal weight: infinity. Follow him on Twitter: @dinfontay.