10 Things You Should Vow to Do for Your Dad this Father’s Day
A day dedicated to dads means more than a sad tie, card, or perfunctory phone call. Father’s Day means giving pops the dap he deserves. Not only did this guy give you life, he probably dealt with a lot of your nonsense for decades. So celebrate your dad with these simple and not-so-simple things you should definitely do for him.
1. Turn off the damn kitchen light
He’s not Con Edison/made of money/running a 7-11 here!
2. Mow the lawn
And not for money, because of threats, or thanks to passive aggressive notes on the fridge (actually more of a mom move anyway). No, you should mow the lawn out of the goodness of your heart and because dad’s been asking you to do it for, oh, about 30 years now.
3. Wash the car
Because god knows nobody else has in 20 years.
Three ways to get him sauced
This Father’s Day, get your old man what he actually wants: to get sauced. With Applewood Bacon-crusted Glaze, that is. Bring your dads to TGI Fridays, and choose 3 of their 5 handcrafted varieties of slow-cooked, fall-off-the-bone baby back pork ribs -- plus, whatever else you guys are craving. And to wash it down, sip on TGIF’s Happy Hour Every Hour, and have happy hour prices whenever you guys decide. Yeah, really.
4. Pay the phone bill
Pops’ family plan was definitely eating the charges on your very not-unlimited texting plan for a long time. Pay the guy back!
5. Show interest in his weird hobby
Get ready to become overly familiar with the difference in model train gauges (Z scale for life).
6. Restock the liquor cabinet
Adding water to hide the Bailey’s Irish Cream you’ve been sneaking for years? Do the guy the favor and buy some new bottles.
7. Lose in any physical contest
Golf? H.O.R.S.E? Whatever minor to major physical activity is still within dad’s ability, let him beat you in something. If he still does this regularly anyway with you trying your hardest… damn dude, your dad is way better than you.
8. Ask him to tell that story about the thing
Or the place with that guy. Regardless, you’ve heard it 1,000 times and started rolling your eyes on the second rendition. But it’s dad’s favorite story for a reason -- sit there and listen like you’ve never heard it before.
9. Say something he did was “Churchillian”
Dads love Winston Churchill, his failure at Gallipoli notwithstanding of course.
10. See where the guy is coming from
You’ve probably spent years trying to change his mind about something he vehemently refuses to reconsider. Just take a day to put yourself in his dad shoes and see what he’s thinking. And if you followed this list, it’s “Damn, what an awesome son/daughter/adopted neighborhood ragamuffin.”