10 Things You Should Vow to Do for Your Dad this Father’s Day

Jennifer Nickert/Shutterstock
Jennifer Nickert/Shutterstock

A day dedicated to dads means more than a sad tie, card, or perfunctory phone call. Father’s Day means giving pops the dap he deserves. Not only did this guy give you life, he probably dealt with a lot of your nonsense for decades. So celebrate your dad with these simple and not-so-simple things you should definitely do for him.
 

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1. Turn off the damn kitchen light

He’s not Con Edison/made of money/running a 7-11 here!

 

Dad tired of mowing the lawn
Phil Roeder/Flickr

2. Mow the lawn

And not for money, because of threats, or thanks to passive aggressive notes on the fridge (actually more of a mom move anyway). No, you should mow the lawn out of the goodness of your heart and because dad’s been asking you to do it for, oh, about 30 years now.
 

Washing Car
Guian Bolisay/Flickr

3. Wash the car

 Because god knows nobody else has in 20 years.
 

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Three ways to get him sauced

This Father’s Day, get your old man what he actually wants: to get sauced. With Applewood Bacon-crusted Glaze, that is. Bring your dads to TGI Fridays, and choose 3 of their 5 handcrafted varieties of slow-cooked, fall-off-the-bone baby back pork ribs -- plus, whatever else you guys are craving. And to wash it down, sip on TGIF’s Happy Hour Every Hour, and have happy hour prices whenever you guys decide. Yeah, really.
 

Cell Phone
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4. Pay the phone bill

 Pops’ family plan was definitely eating the charges on your very not-unlimited texting plan for a long time. Pay the guy back!
 

Model Trains
Brent Moore/Flickr

5. Show interest in his weird hobby

 Get ready to become overly familiar with the difference in model train gauges (Z scale for life).
 

Liquor Cabinet
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6. Restock the liquor cabinet

 Adding water to hide the Bailey’s Irish Cream you’ve been sneaking for years? Do the guy the favor and buy some new bottles.
 

Playing Basketball
Jeff Turner/Flickr

7. Lose in any physical contest

Golf? H.O.R.S.E? Whatever minor to major physical activity is still within dad’s ability, let him beat you in something. If he still does this regularly anyway with you trying your hardest… damn dude, your dad is way better than you.
 

Sitting Room Scene
Rain Moth Gallery/Flickr

8. Ask him to tell that story about the thing

 Or the place with that guy. Regardless, you’ve heard it 1,000 times and started rolling your eyes on the second rendition. But it’s dad’s favorite story for a reason -- sit there and listen like you’ve never heard it before.
 

Churchill Street Art
Ms Sara Kelly/Flickr

9. Say something he did was “Churchillian”

 Dads love Winston Churchill, his failure at Gallipoli notwithstanding of course.
 

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10. See where the guy is coming from

You’ve probably spent years trying to change his mind about something he vehemently refuses to reconsider. Just take a day to put yourself in his dad shoes and see what he’s thinking. And if you followed this list, it’s “Damn, what an awesome son/daughter/adopted neighborhood ragamuffin.”