Lifestyle

Panera Bread = A Rare Bedpan, and 33 Other Absurd Restaurant Anagrams

Published On 06/12/2015 Published On 06/12/2015
Flickr/JeepersMedia / Jennifer Bui/Thrillist

Have you ever wondered if there might be any hidden, secret messages if you rearranged the letters in The Cheesecake Factory? Well then you, friend, lack intellectual curiosity. Because there are. There most definitely are!

Thrillist mobilized an army of linguistics experts (or maybe just a single online anagram generator) to bring you these: the most eye-opening, insightful, and occasionally just kind of weird and gross phrases taken from the spellings of America's most popular chain restaurants. 
 

Whataburger = Bra Thaw Urge

How did the bra freeze in the first place? 
 

Panera Bread = A Rare Bedpan

Of particular interest to any bedpan collectors out there.
 

Starbucks = Sack Burst

Sounds painful. 
 

In-N-Out Burger = Outer Burning

Maybe it's connected to that burst sack? 
 

The Cheesecake Factory = Seek The Theocracy Cafe

Sound advice. 
 

Outback Steakhouse = Sue Ate Oak Buckshot

Did it come with a Bloomin' Onion? 
 

Jack in the Box = Ex Thick Banjo

So the banjo is skinny now? 
 

Einstein Bros Bagels = Big Tensionless Bear

Sounds like a pretty chill bear. 
 

Bojangles Famous Chicken 'N Biscuits = I Snag Unjustifiable Cockscomb Hens

Wow. Just wow. 
 

Chuck E. Cheese’s = Cue Cheek Chess

Cheek chess sounds like a euphemism for... something? 
 

Baskin-Robbins = I Rob Banks Bins

Better than robbing ice cream shop cash registers, amirite?!

Flickr/Thomas Hawk / Jennifer Bui/Thrillist

Burger King = Rink Bugger

It's grosser if you're British.
 

Five Guys Burgers and Fries = Rub Ass Reverifying Fudges

Doesn't sound sanitary. 
 

Panda Express = Expands Rapes

Bad panda!
 

Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen = Oh Nice I Passionately Puke

At least it's passionate.
 

Golden Corral = Nerd Oral Clog

Not quite clear what that is but... yeah, probably gross. 
 

P.F. Chang's China Bistro = Frothing Hips Can Scab

Good to know. Also terrible to know! 
 

Ruby Tuesday = Yea Dusty Rub

Is a dusty rub really worth cheering about? Unclear. 
 

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts = Hump During Keystrokes

Ick. 
 

Waffle House = Of A Wee Flush

It works on a few different levels. 
 

Kentucky Fried Chicken = Rectify Unchecked Kink

Or don't rectify it. People are into what they're into!

Flickr/JeepersMedia / Jennifer Bui/ Thrillist

Taco Bell = Clot Able

Careful with those Quesaritos. 
 

The Olive Garden = El Hangover Diet

Would seem to work better for Taco Bell, actually, but those breadsticks probably do the trick. 
 

McDonald's = Damn Clods

Don't talk about Grimace like that. 
 

Macaroni Grill = Clamoring Liar

That's a bold accusation. 
 

Applebee's = Able Peeps

New marketing slogan? 
 

T.G.I. Fridays = Dairy Gifts

That would be a great new name for the fried mozzarella. 
 

Dunkin' Donuts = No Unkind Stud

You will, however, find many of studs who are rather kind! 
 

Red Lobster = Order Belts

Cheddar Bay Biscuits do a number on the waistline. Worth it!
 

Texas Roadhouse = Exhausts A Rodeo

Seems on theme at least?
 

Friendly's Ice Cream = Acme Fire Cylinders

Sounds like a Wile E. Coyote accident waiting to happen.
 

Long John Silver's = Jill Governs Nosh

Who gave Jill this power? Will she use it to take everyone to Long John Silver's? 
 

Chipotle Mexican Grill = Exploiting Chill Cream

Think about THAT next time you order extra sour cream on that burrito. 
 

Hooters = He Torso

Mind. Blown.

Matt Lynch doesn't have enough vowels in his name to spell interesting things. Talk spelling and grammar with him @MLynchChi.

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