"Here's my concern: who the hell picked out that shirt for you? Oh, I see. With the pants, so I guess it's a whole thing... You married poorly."
"Do you care about Pied Piper? Because if you do, I'm not seeing it. In fact, what I think I'm seeing is the human equivalent of a flaccid penis."
"No, this is all wrong. I am sensing a general lack of vision. Your muffins smell like shit. So do your ideas. One of you is the least-attractive person I've ever seen. I'm not gonna say who. Should we leave, or should you?"
To no one in particular:
"If I have to, I'm going to keep my fucking Star Blazers VHS tapes in my room. It doesn't take an IQ-9 to know they should remain alphabetized."
Helping Richard come up with a cyborg insult after Cyborg Jared played Pied Piper:
"Well, cyborg, fuck you, you fucking metal-dick piece of shit."