The Funniest Sex Scenes of All Time

crank sex scene
Crank | Lionsgate
Crank | Lionsgate

Fresh linens stretched across a perfectly made bed. Just the right amount of moonlight trickling through the window. Hot people with hot bodies who always know the hottest way to commingle with their partner. Let's face it: sex is never better than in the movies.

But occasionally, in an effort to defy expectations (or just crack us up), Hollywood ditches the romance of a roll in the sheets for something wackier, raunchier, and/or downright bizarre. Compiled by our writers (who spent an awful amount of time hunched over their computers while compiling this list...), here are the funniest sex scenes -- intentional or not -- ever to hit the big screen.

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Paramount Pictures/YouTube

Team America: World Police

As anyone who has ever made two G.I. Joes or Barbies bump plastic uglies can tell you, sex between dolls is funny. Sex between marionettes? Hilarious, especially when pushed to such absurd (and, yes, very graphic) levels by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

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Sony Pictures/YouTube

Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction

Besides having one of the best sequel titles in the history of cinema, this absurd follow-up to the '90s erotic thriller classic also has an all-time great credits sequence. It starts simply enough with Sharon Stone and English soccer star Stan Collymore engage in a little mutual masturbation while gunning it through London in a sleek sports car. But then, right as she's about to climax, Stone's femme fatale Catherine Tramell drives the vehicle off the road into the water. Why? She's addicted to risk, clearly!

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Universal Pictures/YouTube

American Pie

There had to be a better way. Yes, Jim was new to sex. Yes, he was hot and bothered. No, he didn't have a ton of options. We get it. But good god, there had to be a better way. An apple isn't even… did they not have sex education in Michigan? This clip still embarrasses us through fits of laughter.

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Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube

300: Rise of the Empire

Eva Green's ferocious eyes and cavalier approach to nudity made her the only actress capable of turning a half-baked 300 sequel's sure-why-not sex/fight scene into one of the greatest sequences in modern action movie history. She nails this.  

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Chloe Productions/YouTube

The Room

As many fans of the cult classic The Room have noted, it's helpful to think of the film as a serious drama created by a space alien with a severely limited understanding of human behavior and psychology. Nowhere is that approach more useful than in this hot and steamy love scene, where star-writer-director-and-guru Tommy Wiseau appears to… have sex with his co-star's belly button. Maybe on his planet, that's how procreation works.

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Lionsgate/YouTube

Crank and Crank 2

The outlandish cartoon sensibility of Crank masterminds Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor also extends to these two ridiculous romantic encounters between Jason Statham, playing the constantly-in-need-of-an-adrenaline-kick Chev Chelios, and Amy Smart, who brings a light touch to the role of Chev's long-suffering partner. Instead of playing public sex for seedy thrills, both Crank movies turn these sequences into goofy comedy, with the second one at the horse-track emerging as the clear winner.

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Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube

Watchmen

Alan Moore's mid-'80s comic series taught us that superheroes could be just like us -- depressed, disturbed, morally challenged, and in the case of Zack Snyder's 2009 adaptation, capable of hooking up in their owl-shaped spaceships. Set to Leonard Cohen's  'Hallelujah" and featuring plenty of crime-fighting leather, this explicit rendering of an emotional connection is, simply put, frickin' hilarious.

showgirls sex scene
United Artists

Showgirls

All that thrashing! When ambitious exotic dancer Nomi (Elizabeth Berkley) gets intimate with her boss Zack (Kyle MacLachlan) in a gaudy pool, it's an aquatic nightmare where you fear for everyone's safety. Seriously, don't attempt these moves without snorkels.

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Universal Pictures

Bridesmaids

There's a lot to admire about this late-night hook-up between John Hamm and Kristen Wiig -- Hamm's eye rolls were a GIF waiting to happen -- but the annoyed face Wiig makes as Hamm's jerky booty call incessantly blows her hair in her face remains some of her finest, funniest work.

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Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube

The Matrix Reloaded

Neo (Keanu Reeves) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) are two beautiful people who create their own romantic matrix whenever they find a moment to plug into one another. Unfortunately, the only alone time they could carve out during their big-budget sequel is amid an underground, slo-mo rave, where thumping techno turns and sweaty extras turn the robot-fighting couple's sex scene into something out of a Cinemax Burning Man special.

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First Look Studios/YouTube

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

You can't have a ridiculous sex scene list without an appearance from Nicolas Cage, an actor who brings wild-eyed grandeur to even the most mundane human activities. This drug-fueled, back-alley tryst from Werner Herzog's gonzo Bad Lieutenant sequel/spin-off is a stirring example of what Cage can do when he's unleashed. Warning: This is not something you'd see in a National Treasure movie.

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Universal Pictures/YouTube

MacGruber

Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings" can only save MacGruber, Will Forte's '90s action spoof hero, for so long. Then carnal instincts kick in. Partway through his epic love scene with Vicki (Kristin Wiig), the love ballad falls away, leaving only a series of grunts, thrusts, and subpar dirty talk.

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