You are in a hot tub
Be careful. Do not put your head under the water -- there are too many chemicals. Quickly survey the perimeter. If you are alone in a hot tub, you might be in a wealthy friend's backyard or perhaps on a business trip at a Hilton. But, if you are surrounded by two or more members of the opposite sex vying for your attention, you are probably on a reality dating show in the '00s, possibly Blind Date, Average Joe, Age of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila... I could go on. It could be any of them. They all had hot tubs, right? Proceed with caution.
You love body painting
Like trucker hats, LIVESTRONG bracelets, and waterboarding, body painting was very popular during the '00s -- or, at least, it seemed very popular if you spent your evenings watching reality dating shows. I'm not sure if anyone ever enjoyed body painting, but it was always one of the cringe-worthy "ice-breaking" dates that two strangers were forced to go on in a given Blind Date episode, along with skydiving, go-kart driving, and kite-flying. Body-painting companies must have really made bank during the reality dating boom. If you love body paint, you are probably on a reality dating show -- or you are filming an Avatar body-paint tutorial -- either way, seek help.