You are on a strange bus
For some weird reason, oversized vehicles were a big deal in the '00s: hummers, buses, and Tony Soprano's Escalade were all huge. So, it makes sense that the era birthed two classic dating shows that made excellent use of buses. Both Next and The 5th Wheel put very excited daters in vehicles fit for bus enthusiast John Madden. While MTV's Next now has a certain amount of cache for its proto-Tinder "swipe right" approach, The 5th Wheel, which was hosted by Aisha Tyler in its first season, is the better show for its bizarre pacing, creepy party room on the bus, and tendency to cast daters who loved sucking toes. If you love buses, you probably also love sucking on toes.
You are chained to other humans
Relax: that chain does not mean you are in a real-life Saw scenario. Instead, you are on UPN's Chains of Love, a truly deranged show that asked the question: what happens when you chain a woman to four boring men and force them to do things like go ice skating together? The answer is not much. The best part about this show was the Locksmith, a bodyguard-looking dude who dressed in black, wore Matrix sunglasses, and showed up for the elimination rounds. He was cool. Hopefully he's still out there getting free drinks from people who recognize him as the Locksmith from Chains of Love. Never change, Locksmith. You are beautiful.