Castle Black: Snow problem
I haven't been this heartbroken about the demise of a Snow since the follow up to "Informer" didn't chart in the U.S. It appears that Jon Snow is actually literally dead, even though his direwolf Ghost is crying like a Belieber whose Twitter account just got hacked.
Ser Davos seems to be the only one in all of Castle Black who is paying attention, because he finds Jon's body way before anyone else on the Night's Watch. They take him into a room and knock everything off of the table like Amanda Woodward on Melrose Place preparing to get laid in her office. Davos (no affiliation to the World Economic Forum) and four of Jon's friends from the Night's Watch stand around looking at the body. Melisandre, still looking like a Cover Girl spokeswoman and rocking a serious red fashion cape, shows up all sad, looking like her boyfriend just dumped her and took her entire Siouxsie Sioux record collection with him. She's never the life of the party, but she was especially a downer here.
Davos, these four other dudes, and Jon's wolf are going to fight the Night's Watch because, I don't know, they're boys and they like to fight or something. Jon is dead, what good is fighting him going to do? If I were Davos, I would just take the new Lord Commander Thorne's offer of a bunch of food and be on my merry way. Instead, Davos is going to enlist the help of Melisandre. But she's not around. She's in bed. She's an old lady, that's what old ladies do: they watch The People's Court and they go to bed.
I have a lot to say about Melisandre in her room taking off everything in front of the mirror. It's like she was watching How to Get Away With Murder and saw Viola Davis win an Emmy for taking her wig off and was like, "OK, bitch. You ready for this?" Then she took off her magic necklace and immediately everyone was like, "OK, Fine. You win. We'll EGOT you if you put that back on. Please!"
Also, the mirrors in Westeros are totally shitty. She couldn't even see her nipples in that mirror. She probably doesn't think that she's as old and ugly as she really is. This woman can queef out a demon baby, but she can't get herself a decent reflective surface?
One last note on the Night's Watch. I love how Thorne told everyone that he killed Jon Snow and it was fine because he never disobeyed a direct order. Um, I think the order not to kill him was one of those tacit orders that you're supposed to understand without being told. It's like tipping at least 15%, standing on the right on escalator and walking up the left, and not farting in an elevator.