Putting aside Twitter's obsession with the vampire behind Jake Tapper, last night's GOP debate was first and foremost about the words spoken by the 11 candidates on the stage -- like Donald Trump waxing poetic about the beauty of Carly Fiorina, for instance.
To get a better idea of what the GOP's best and brightest had to say, we sifted through the official debate transcript in search of which words were most frequently spoken by the presidential hopefuls during their three-hour reign of terror. The resulting tripartite lexical discoveries are actually near-perfect summaries of the candidates themselves, to the point where it almost seems like we made all this up. We did not make all this up.
Donald Trump: Disaster, People, Baby
Jeb Bush: Strategy, Relates, Created
Marco Rubio: Fly, Harder, Paycheck
Chris Christie: Jersey, Playing, Adams
Carly Fiorina: Track, Vladimir, Potential
Rand Paul: War, Response, Jail
John Kasich: Incumbent, Sanctions, Battle
Ben Carson: Recognize, People, Logical
Scott Walker: Education, Restrictions, Lift
Ted Cruz: Court, Appointed, Videos
Mike Huckabee: Gitmo, Cancer, Believe