In other news, "It's a medical crisis for Sofía Vergara's husband," who's actually also famous. His name is Joe Manganiello, he was in Magic Mike, and he has appendicitis. An interview with Vergara's ex, Nick Loeb, who is suing her for ownership of their frozen embryos, is tacked on to the end of this non-story. Loeb's taken up acting now, starring in the film Precious Cargo. And he's willing to take his case against Vergara "all the way to the Supreme Court!"
True to form, Inside Edition comes through in informing me that Donald Trump had a "bit of an oops moment," but that's all I currently know about America's political climate, as my vow of CNN abstinence has rendered me unable to even glance at the results of the New York primaries. Every morning, I sigh and delete my daily email from the LA Times, as it contains news, and I cannot consume news that isn't disseminated via Inside Edition.